This week I’ve been spring cleaning my room, and one of my tasks has been getting rid of maybe 60 magazines I had on my bookshelf. I needed material to cut out for collages, so I went through each one. Out of choice, mind you but still…
So draining.
I obviously haven’t picked up a teen magazine in a while, because at the end of the day I was feeling sick. Article after article on “How to be the best kisser” or “Does he really love you?” and “Guys tell you what’s REALLY on their minds” or “Hookup hotline”—made me so glad I never “fell in love” or dated someone when I was 14 or 15. How tempting it would’ve been at a young ignorant age to take these things to heart. Not to say that most of their advice is bad—for the most part it encourages being treated well and making sure you’re happy. But it’s all about self-fulfillment. It’s based on finding confidence in you as a female rather than in something greater (try the Almighty). It has low expectations for boys that age--they’re all seen as animals who can’t really help themselves. What’s more, sex is thrown around so cheaply as the (unstated) natural progression of a relationship.
And that was just the “Seventeen” magazines I was reading.
Somehow my sister and I had acquired some Cosmopolitans in our collection. *As a disclaimer, I will say that there is a time and place for some of the information in this magazine...some women entering marriage could really benefit from those articles. But on the other hand I could go on and on about all the things this magazine projects to women: sex/ relationships are about self-gratification and pleasure, money = beauty = men = success, that men only want one thing. Committed love and sex going hand in hand is a rarity. But what got me the most is the heartbreak that line these pages. Advice questions like “After four happy months of dating my guy, I used the ‘L’ word. The next day he broke up with me. I thought things were going great! What’s the deal?” or talking about cheating and infidelity like it was just another part of life. Which it actually is for most Americans.
That’s what sucks. This “Cosmo” life is a reflection of what really goes on. It feeds it, but its also just showing the already solidified mindset of those around me. I have friends who have fallen into this thinking, sleeping around with different guys because it’s a rite of passage or returning to a boyfriend they don’t even love for “the practice”. The idea that “if a guy really loves you, he won’t care how experienced you are” is foreign to them. And looking around at most of the guys in college, I understand why. They buy into the Cosmo life too.
This sickening feeling wasn’t helped by watching “He’s just not that into you” with my mom this week. My dad actually watched a good amount of it, and turned to us at one point, asking “Is this really what its like?”. Yeah Dad. For most young Americans, I think it is.
This entry wasn’t meant to bash these magazines or paint this as a “new problem” that requires action—its just another example of sin that has been with us since the fall. I’ve certainly noticed these things before, and have often felt convicted about the topic. But being at the place and age that I am now, I am especially struck at the pain and striving of the women who read these magazines, and knowing that what they are really looking for is hope in the Savior.
