Analogy Time

Once in a blue moon Colin will wake up from his nap in a sleep-induced hysteric. With his wincing eyelids fighting to keep the light away and his pained wails, I can tell this guy is t-i-r-e-d. So I pick him up, swaddle him....but I can feel his body is just in panic mode. Everything in him is tense. All he wants is to be held and comforted back to sleep, but he's too tired and won't calm down enough to realize that I'm right there. That if he just took time to catch his breath he'd realize he's safe and secure. That he can trust that everything I do for him is for his good.

How often are we this way with God? If we have really put our lives in His hands, why do we doubt, turn away, or try to fight His love and provision (when that's exactly what we desire and need)? It brought to mind a passage from Matthew 6 (The Message translation) where Christ addresses our anxiety, saying that if God looks after things in his creation like the lilies of the field "...don't you think he will attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?" Bam! I was convicted.

I've been trying to make some decisions about this next phase in what I call "the post-college-transition-crazy-time". Recent grads, you know what I'm talking about. The structure of school is gone, the built-in community is gone...it's up to me to take steps towards the direction of what I want my life to look like...by taking initiative, accepting challenges, and making decisions. That's the kicker for me--making decisions. A lot of the anxiety I experience in times like this is fear of the unknown and realizing that I don't have all that much control. But God does, all of the time. And He's going to challenge and use us in whatever circumstance--whether it be abroad working at a church, traveling with my sister and going to bible school, or at home in Seattle honoring him in my "everyday". 

He's crafted us intricately, with specific desires. And if I've learned anything this year, it's that even if you feel like you ought to do something (i.e. that it makes sense, or it's what you think you need), it's not going to work out if your heart isn't in it equally. So in the end, if all three options are for God's glory, why not go with what your heart is feeling? And begin to relax, breathe--with the assurance that you're in God's everlasting arms, no matter what circumstance you find yourself in.