[Note: This story is not exciting per se, just...thought provoking for me, as themes of gender inequality, feminism, and women's degradation of their own gender status continue cropping up in my classes this quarter]
Scene: Monday night, 10:15 on Queen Anne outside of my core group leader's house
Here I am, with my three lovely core group ladies after a night of conversation, laughter, prayer, and yummy gyros. We are going to our cars, and stop on the sidewalk to discuss how to celebrate our last few times together before graduation. Ideas are tossed around, maybe a girly "ohh" or "eek" is exchanged--nothing loud, though-- when we see a 30-something woman walk to her screen door and shout, "Shut up and go be drunk somewhere else, you bimbo whores!"
Door slams shut.
My first reaction was to contain my laughter--one of those very throaty, piggy laughs I do when I feel awkward. Everything she said was just so off from me and my three friends, it was silly to me. We weren't drinking, we were covered head to toe in warm clothing, and our conversation was far from unintelligent.
We exchanged side glances with each other, stopped talking and got in our cars-- it was that bizarre.
Then on the way home I got to thinking...the whole thing was kinda disturbing. Mainly for this reason: This woman didn't even skip a beat when she said it--the sentence flowed off her tongue so easily, you'd think she had rehearsed it. These words must be so ingrained in whatever context or sub-culture she lives in, that to use them against perfect strangers who match none of the qualities is somehow deemed O.K.
What's worse is that you're almost guaranteed that these words have been used against her.
I passed by a sorority girl this week who called out to her friend, saying "Hey whore, how'd your test go?" Now this friend she was shouting to was beautiful and seemed to have a very sweet disposition, and from the 5 seconds I had to observe the whole interaction, it felt so....out of place. When is it ever okay to use a word like that--so embedded with meaning, history, power dynamics--as a term of endearment? It's so backwards. (And devalues the term, for that matter)
This phenomena isn't something new to me, to be sure--but I keep noticing it more and more. And as someone who finds myself increasingly critical of the constructs of womanhood in our culture, I can't help speaking out when I see women tare each other down, even in nonchalant settings like those described above, when "no real harm is done".
Because real harm is being done, to our gender as a whole. And ladies, we are a huge part of the problem.
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1 comment:
remember that scene in Mean Girls? "Calling each other sluts and whores just makes it easier for guys to call you sluts and whores." And I can remember in my 8th grade choir class, two girls who were best friends play-fighting and calling each other "bitch" and "slut," too. 8th graders are like 13 years old! I don't know what started it, but it doesn't look like this tendency is gonna stop anytime soon...I think speaking out when you see it is the best way to combat it. Good food for thought, Em.
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