The Life and Times of Emvo

Nanny Diaries

2012-02-15T14:17:00.000-08:00

This past week marks ONE month of my current live-in nanny gig! To those out of the loop, I am currently living at the home of the director of the INN, his wife, and two ginger babes, age 3 1/2 and 4 months. Now, I love kids, but I would not consider nannying, let alone living in, if the circumstances were different....but I love the kids, love my roommates, and it is coming at a great season in life where I have the freedom, desire, and energy to hang with these boys. Plus I had often said in the past that I wanted to stay home with my kids when I am a mom, and what better way to get a taste of that than a 8 month nanny gig? So I gladly accepted the position, knowing that while it may not be in line was my so-called "career goals", it would offer personal enrichment that is beyond comparison.
I knew going into it I would be challenged and stretched and that I would learn A LOT, and so far all of those things are true. But I'm not sure I anticipated how much fun I could have, and how strong and quickly my attachment would grow towards those two little guys.

So, some major things I am recognizing (none of them new or profound, but certainly weighty)
-Having kids will change your world. I'm only a caretaker and have had just a glimpse at what it feels like to be an actual parent, but thinking about the time, effort, change in conversation and social life, and personal investment surrounding these little people (who will never know just how much you gave for them to have a full and joyful life).....holy canoli. The fact that humans choose to have babies seems kinda counterintuitive to our selfish nature, because as far as I can tell, you are entering into the most selfless thing in the human experience.
-Which brings me to my next observation...you will only be able to do this if you have support. Single parents, I have so much more appreciation for you. Personally, I know that the only thing that would make me not crumble to pieces was if my best friend & lover was right there with me, every step of the way.
-It's a drastically different life, but it's so life-giving to yourself and your family. You are able to see first hand what love, patience, sacrifice, and grace look like, and begin to feel the weight of the fact that our Heavenly Father loves us, his children, unconditionally. We are helpless without him.
-Kids are silly and pure and wonderful and totally worth it, if you are giving them to the Lord each day.

I know I don't want to enter into parenthood for a looooooong long LONG time. But in the meantime I get to love and be loved by these two cuties. Happy happy joy joy

What I Do When I Am Alone and In Poor Health: The Mute Shares Her Thoughts

2012-02-04T19:28:00.000-08:00

So, I'm probably not the only one who kinda cringes when they hear their recorded voice ("Is that my voice? Is that *MY* voice?") but I've never been a fan of mine. So when a sore throat happens to me, despite the pain, I secretly enjoy how my voice gets raspy and unpredictable (some would even argue, Sex-ayyy...?). But all fun things must end, so I've taken a vow of silence to heal the ol' vocal cords....tired of being sick!

And that's what brings me here, writing to you (whoever you are) on this perfectly good saturday night. The inability to talk with others this weekend has driven me to solitude. Which is probably all for the best...I tend to try to fill in my schedule with social plans, coffee dates, Greenlake walks etc, and I rarely turn down social invitations. And so I kept to myself today, reading in the 60 degree sunshine. And it was a nice change of pace. I had been feeling kinda out of whack recently, like I couldn't hear myself think. So I'd like to think this cold was a way for God to say "Stop. Rest. Be okay with the quiet and NO PLANS."

So I've been reading as of late. That was a general goal for these next 8 months--read as much as possible. As far as spiritual literature, my current devotional is My Utmost for His Highest, which I am greatly enjoying (thought sometimes I feel like I have to read it many times over to correctly understand it). My core group that I lead is going through Mere Christianity, which has been a favorite book of mine since high school. Recently I have been on a C.S. Lewis kick since the fall and I love getting to re-read his way of reminding me how logical, intellectually and personally engaging, and revolutionary the Christian faith is.
As far as other books, I have struggled finding something that captures my attention. For instance, I really, really want to like the Hunger Game books. But I am struggling through book 2 like you wouldn't believe. I loved the concept of the first book (which is why I am excited for the movie). But gosh darn it, I just can't get past the writing! It's so....lack luster. Mind you, I would never consider myself a book snob. I think my own writing is embarrassingly under-developed. But I've realized that in order for me to get into books, I need to be challenged--whether that be with the beauty of just the right words being put together to spin a perfectly clear image, or how the author peels a part the Everyday, or satire, or....just things that aren't so cut and dry. So if you are still reading after that whole rant, let me know if you have any recommendations, both fiction and not.

Solitude also conveniently drives me to a place of creativity. Like wood-block prints! And Valentine's Day cards! I'm hoping it will move more towards writing prose (blogging does not count) and maybe even some sketching/watercolor....maybe.

I'm also using this time alone on solidifying travel plans. Chicago! Detroit! LA! And then some undecided trip this fall (see two posts down).

This post was so random. I'm going to watch Happy Endings now.

Since it won't let me "pin" this....

2012-01-23T22:40:00.000-08:00

Dancing Groom + Bieber. I'd certainly be a happy bride.

(Also, note the names....made me chuckle.)

2012-01-23T12:05:00.000-08:00

So I am trying to figure out where to travel come September when I am done working as a nanny. I still need to secure a travel buddy (or plural; and yes, you could be one of them!), but right now if it is not someplace abroad (Ireland or NZ), than it will most definitely be: A Road Trip Around the West! Including the Bay Area, Yosemite, Zion, Bryce, Grand Teton, Yellowstone, and Glacier National Park.

Inspiration for now as I hope, dream, and plan...

Yosemite HD from Project Yosemite on Vimeo.

Yearly Blog Wrap-Up! (My 100th Post!)

2011-12-31T17:35:00.000-08:00

I really don't have much to say; if you've read along for the past 365 days, it's pretty clear that this year was SO SO good. Arguably the best yet. There were some rough patches (thesis, school strezz, hard decisions) and real triumphs (finishing four year of school, amazing friendships, deputation, personal healing, fun and new autumnal endeavors & tomfoolery). But both the good and challenging times made this year extremely satisfying and fulfilling for me. I guess that's a part of growing up, huh? The payoffs from perseverance through the gauntlet are higher; the joys from experiencing God's presence, his people and love are infinitely deeper. That's what 2011 felt like for me--An enhanced experience of life. Better than any trip on e. (Not that I know much on the subject)

Refiner's Fire

2011-11-26T08:05:00.000-08:00

Photo cred: Jean VanOss, circa 1978

Hibernating for the winter (that is, you won't see very much activity from me on the interwebs, including on here).

There comes a time in every man's (woman's) life when you realize God and you have a lot to work out together. This seems to happen yearly for me like clockwork (damn Thanksgiving weekend always seems to be the catalyst). In the past I've done lots of introspection, trying to figure out who exactly I am and am meant to be. This is all well and good, but I need to be looking more fervently for who God is. Because in the end, He knows me better than I know myself, and He is--by definition--Life, Love, and Truth. By seeking Him I will also find myself. A two-for-one deal! Huzzah!

Now, I vow not to be a hermit; in fact these times of intentional re-evaluation tend to be seasons where I feel most connected with others and creation. Rather I'm just taking a break from things that are self-centered or not edifying uses of my time. In place of it, I intend to read, write, create, learn, and explore our world (and hang out with ya'll, duh), with a focus of reconnecting with not who I am in Christ, but simply who He is. The Living God. Redeemer. Yahweh.

So I must do the right thing,

I must do myself a favor and

Get Real, Get Right with the Lord.

I hope to find new truths about Christ, and also a growing maturity in myself as I pass through the Refiner's fire. And this is my prayer for all of us as we enter this Advent season:

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. --Romans 15:13

Onward, ho!

Jesus Calling excerpt

2011-11-07T10:19:00.000-08:00

Worship Me in the beauty of holiness. All true beauty reflects some of who I Am. I am working My ways in you: the divine Artist creating loveliness within your being. My main work is to clear out debris and clutter, making room for My Spirit to take full possession. Collaborate with Me in this effort by being willing to let go of anything I choose to take away. I know what you need, and I have promised to provide all of that--abundantly!

Your sense of security must not rest in our possessions or in things going your way. I am training you to depend on Me alone, finding fulfillment in My Presence. This entails being satisfied with much or with little, accepting either as My will for the moment. Instead of grasping or controlling, you are learning to release and receive. Cultivate this receptive stance by trusting Me in every situation.

2011-09-24T17:54:00.000-07:00

(Do yourself a favor--mute the music on this and bump your own kick-ass song as you watch this awesome footage.) Ughhh this looks positively thrilling!

Experience Zero Gravity from Betty Wants In on Vimeo.

2011-09-17T08:03:00.000-07:00

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act."

Psalm 37:5

"The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interuptions of one's "own" or "real" life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life--the life God is sending one day by day: what one calls one's "real life" is a phantom of one's own imagination".

--CS Lewis

September means Simplicity

2011-09-14T16:23:00.000-07:00

One thing I felt in Kenya was the clarity that comes with simple living. With only a suitcase of belongings and limited noise from the cultural distribution tanks of the internet, it was so pleasant realizing I didn't need much to feel satisfied--just work, relationships, and some good ol' fashioned fun in the evenings. Prompted by my experience (and an earlier blogpost by my pastor) I vowed to live a simpler life.

And so it is the middle of my "Simpler September", and there is still work to be done! The big focus was first getting rid of stuff. Clothes, superfluous decorations, sentimental things. So far this has culminated to a cleaned-out room, with a minimalist appearance that I must say is like a breath of fresh air. I also hope to continue having a smaller closet by getting rid of a piece of clothing for every new one I get (we'll see how that goes...). Next up on this decluttering project is more of a service project to my parents--our garage. If you've ever been in there to grab a coke, you know...It's a doozy!

Anyways, for now simpler means less "things"--an ongoing challenge will be simplifying my time and way I spend money. Join me in the autumnal (and ongoing) challenge if you'd like!

2011-09-14T11:29:00.000-07:00

"Youth is not a period of time. It is a state of mind, a result of the will, a quality of the imagination, a victory of courage over timidity, of the taste for adventure over the love of comfort. A man doesn't grow old because he has lived a certain number of years; a man grows old when he deserts his ideal. The years may wrinkle his skin, but deserting his ideal wrinkles his soul. Preoccupations, fears, doubts, and despair are the enemies which slowly bow us toward earth and turn us into dust before death. You will remain young as long as you are open to what is beautiful, good, and great; receptive to the messages of the other men and women, of nature, and of God. If one day you should become bitter, pessimistic, and gnawed by despair, may God have mercy on you old man's soul." -The Ragamuffin Gospel

Contentment.

2011-09-10T11:45:00.000-07:00

Enchant me.

2011-08-31T23:10:00.000-07:00

Bucket List item #8: Backback in the Enchantments. CHECK!

Three days. One steep scramble to another world. Five fantastic companions. A dream fulfilled!

And she walked her days under African skies.

2011-08-16T23:56:00.000-07:00

This post will likely fail to express the ways this 2 month adventure has affected me. But here goes...

My heart is full.

This country, these people, this second home called Rafiki....God has renewed my spirit through the things I have experienced these past 8 weeks. I can't remember the last time I have laughed or smiled so much as during our deputation experience. Even if my day was ho-hum or tiring from a day at school, or if we had just had a yelling match back at Wageni, I would walk into the dinning room and just light up. These 97 kids are the cutest you will ever meet, I'm convinced. And the Momma's are incredibly strong and wise. We have all learned about what it looks like to trust in Christ by their lives. The staff, my teammates, the fellow ROS's and Mini's--I've just felt so much love.

While I left for Kenya on a high from graduation--extremely hopeful and excited for the life Christ has created for me--I now recognize that I still had a few chips on my shoulder and places of hardness in my heart. The outpouring of laughter, joy, fellowship, communion with God, lessons on grace for us ragamuffins, love and affection, hope, trust....it's all amalgamated to a renewed spirit, one of positivity and joy. God used those around me to show me his attributes and remind me of his extravagant love. He romanced me with the rolling hills of the Mara, the Kenyan sunrises, afternoon runs--Hosea 2:14 comes to mind: "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her". His presence was very apparent to me, whether I was alone or surrounded by others.

There are other spiritual lessons I have learned (how universal the Christian faith is, how hard it is to truly live out 1 Corinthians 13) but as I look forward, I think lessons of trust and hope will be most pertinent. This was just one adventure God has made for me...I get giddy thinking of all the other things He will reveal to me as I continue in these roaring 20's and beyond. There will be trials. There will be heartbreak. But I know it will be all for his glory, and be a better story than I could make for myself.

L'amore de Dieu est folie! The love of God is folly. He is too good to us ragamuffins, and gives us far more than we deserve. So thankful for an amazing summer! Onward, Ho!

Kenya 2011: School days

2011-08-07T03:51:00.000-07:00

10:30 Tea time

We have just completed week three of the school term. My team and I have all been assigned a primary class to be teacher assistants--I am class 2 and 3. It's been really fun watching the kids in class and being able to teach some material, but I think my favorite part is getting to know the teachers. At first I was spending a lot of time in grade 2, but Mr Onditi is THE MAN and has those kids in tip-top shape. He is a young fellow of few words but has such a commanding presence--he talks above a whisper and sometimes you can crack a grin out of him. Grade 2 will be chattering away as he reads at his desk, and without looking up he will say in regular talking voice from his desk "Keep quiet" and the kids will respond immediately, bright eyed and sitting stick up. It's hilarious.

Most of my time, though, is spent next door in grade 3. Mr Guthu is 24 years old and a riot. He too has a soft-spoken voice and fantastic little facial expressions. The kids in there are a bit more energetic and fun to watch, as they like to participate more.

Andrew, Grade 3

Me, Mr Guthu, Elle and Kristyn

During the school day I either make copies, work on projects, grade, tutor, lead a learning activity, or just sit in the back of the class until I am needed.

I must say that there are times I want to scream and go up to the board to teach material, especially math. It's hard for the teachers because they are used to Kenyan academics (which is based on memorization) but are given american curriculum. As I tutor, it breaks my heart when kids just can't get the material because the foundations for those concepts somehow were lost in translation along the way. Having taken a class on teaching math this past year, things like addition, subtraction, and units keep coming up and it's SO FRUSTRATING because they don't get the reason why we do certain operations. Things they should know by this age aren't there, like looking at a clock and knowing what time it will be two hours later. But the teachers know what they are doing much more than me, and i'm in no place to criticize--they have some of the hardest jobs. These teachers care so much for their students, both academically and personally, and wake up an hour early just to pray for them. Talk about commitment.

Us mini-missionaries especially enjoy tea time with the staff, and will usually talk about our mornings as we sit on the benches outside. After tea time the day goes pretty quickly, and we are usually done with tuition (tutoring) by 4pm, at which time most of us either go for walks or runs around the compound. Our evenings have been great, filled with play time, devotions with the cottages, games back at Wageni, and oh so much silly conversation before bed.

As our time here is coming to a close (10 days? Craziness), my prayer request is that I could begin a more thorough reflection process. There has been so much that has come about from this experience for me personally and spiritually, and so I plan to make more room in my busy days to really process these things before the Lord. Expect a blog post about it within the next week!

Also, check out this cute video of grade 3 performing at recitation last term: http://vimeo.com/26009677

Kenya 2011: Kiddies

2011-07-26T12:04:00.000-07:00

It's been five weeks that we've been here. While it feels a long time ago since that late tuesday evening waiting to board our plane to DC, life here in Kenya seems to have flown by.

Many of my stories will just have to wait until I'm with you in the flesh, but I believe some more sharing about the kids are in order. Despite all the amazing things we've experienced throughout this country, we all agree that what has made this trip are the kids here in Rafiki. These children have so much joy and energy, it's hard to imagine their life before Rafiki, parentless and living in grim circumstances. They are cute and hilarious, kind and affectionate. But they are kids. And with 96 other brothers and sisters, they all know how to push eachother's buttons. This being said, there are many disciplining moments throughout the day where we have sharpened our parenting skills, but in general our time with them has been all too sweet.

Joseph, looking unusually bashful

Meet my good friend, Joseph. He's one of the smartest, most clever 6th graders I've ever met. He asks great questions and has such a good heart. Something will happen, and sometimes I just look at him and from the shared grin on his face, I know he's thinking the same thing I am.

David, ready to cheer on the older boys in soccer

King David. He's in my second grade class that I help out in, but he's also someone I love to hang out with on the playground. Not that you could tell from this picture, but he's got the biggest deer-in-the-headlights look you've ever seen, especially when he's excited in the classroom. It kills me every time. I'm pretty sure he's crushin on me by the sheepish grin he gives when he meanders by...and quite frankly, I don't mind a bit.

Crazy Hannah, Brenda, and Lillian

My girl Brenda, the tallest one there... She was the kid I sat by during my first dinner here, and she just keeps growing on me. She is charming and sincere, and makes me laugh...especially when she walks by me in line, flashing me her perfectly timed cross-eyed expression. Needless to say it takes alot for me to keep in the giggles. Oh yeah, and she's a twin...

Brenda and Belis, grade 3

Anywho, that's just a snapshot of some of the kids here. Here's some more footage of after-dinner hang out time (thanks Wendell Husebo for use of some pics).

Jane, Victor, Lillian

Learning some scouts positions with Momma Lydia in charge

Kirk and Lucia cheezin' it up

Storytelling with Mr Perkins...they like the gollum voice most

Faaaantastic.

Kenya 2011: Sightseeing and such

2011-07-17T03:45:00.000-07:00

Here's an update I did for the INN blog (with photos, but the connection is so slow here that I got lazy, so this definitely is just a sliver of the past 3 1/2 weeks). I would make one that's more personal, but I'm tired from an exhausting week--physically and emotionally--and some things on my mind will just have to wait until private conversation. In the mean time, enjoy what's here!

CLICK!

Also, some quotes:

Me and Aberg waiting for our safari driver:

A: "Where's Perkins going?" (Starts to follow him)

E: "Just stay here Aberg. He's running to the bathroom...gonna poop his pants."

A: (Dead serious) "Don't we all?"

Kids talking to Mr Perkins: "Please? Please? Why do you have hair on your legs? Like a hobbit?"

Evans, our driver on Safari: "Look--that elephant has five legs"

Kenya 2011: The People

2011-07-11T11:55:00.000-07:00

This post won't do it justice, here's some pictures of da peeps.

My team!

R to L: Me, Melissa, Elle, Andrew Perkins, Andrew Aberg

Elle, Perkins and Aberg are here with me from the INN at UW. I knew all three of them vaguely before our dep meetings this winter, so it's been cool to get closer, even over these past two weeks. Melissa is a "mini-missionary" from Virginia who is tutoring at Rafiki and also lives with us at Wageni (over our two months we will have about 10 others come through and live with us).

The permanent staff here are awesome. Yeen-lan, the volunteer coordinator, is fantastic. She's from Singapore, has a quick wit, and makes me laugh alot. I wish you all could meet her. Geoffrey is a native Kenyan and oversees the daily grind of Rafiki--he is always smiling and is one of our favorites, for sure. All the Kenyan staff is very friendly and love to laugh with us. Janet is our housekeeper and is the sweetest person I may have ever met. Not to mention the 9 Mommas--we sit at their table each meal and they have so many stories to tell. Really amazing, sacrificing women.

Then, the kiddies. Hands down the most precious children I've ever met. Cute. Hilarious. Kind Hearted. Sassy. Well behaved (for the most part). Each week I come to love them more. And the soundbites! I'm taking as many mental movies as I can. I hope to get some real good footage for you sometime.

Our work at Rafiki for these next few weeks revolves around leading the kids in their winter break activities-- GAMES: Games, Art, Music, Enrichment, and Sports. Think leading LBC Family Camp VBS mixed with being program assistant for jr/sr girls, and you will get a sense of our mornings and early afternoons. It's great fun, thanks to the kids. We also hang with them after dinner. Here's some footage from week 1 and 2.

K and grade 1 lining up for games (just look at those faces..)

Candy tongues!!

Dancy dance

Clint!! Age five. Such an adorable kid.

Little Morris

Kirk, Victor, and Johnson (i.e. Mr Trouble)

Hang out time after dinner

More pics and stories to come...sometime. Here's a link to my team mate Andrew Perkin's blogpost for the INN.... http://theinnseattle.wordpress.com/2011/07/11/post-safari-update-from-rafiki/

Kenya 2011: The Place

2011-06-30T05:50:00.000-07:00

Karibu Kenya!

This typical welcome greeting (forget "Jambo"--say that and you're labeled a Mzungu (whitey) even more) pretty much sums up our first week here. It's been a fantastic seven days--busy, slightly tiring, and oh so much fun getting immersed into Kenyan life.

To bring you up to speed, my three comrades and I left Seattle on Tuesday night, arriving in Nairobi 26 hours later to start our two month deputation experience. Not knowing many details of what our surroundings would entail at Rafiki made our immersion experience into Kenya especially exciting.

There's so much to tell already, but this first post will focus on the PLACE:

Rafiki Foundation (a Christian organization that offers a home and on-site schooling for 97 Kenyan orphans) is 45 minutes outside of the center of Nairobi. We saw a dozen zebras in the first two minutes after leaving the airport as we passed the national gaming reserve--we are definitely in Africa.

Kenya is the most Westernized and developed nation in all of East Africa, and Kenyans are very proud of their progress. Our driver Kennedy beamed when showing off the super highway, which has barely been built thanks to the corruption of politics. Kenyan roads are full of potholes, and the further you leave town the more like a roller coaster it feels like--I kinda love it. Oh, and the driving here is pretty nutty. I respect anyone who drives in Kenya, because there were a dozen times our van was less than a foot away from other cars in traffic--merging is insane and we were THIS close to being t-boned by a bus. Plus we drove home from downtown during a thunderstorm; needless to say, I was having the time of my life in the front seat watching Kennedy swerve and maneuver.

Back to the Rafiki compound: It's pretty legit. It's a beautiful piece of land far enough away from the hub-bub of the Mwiki and Njiru villages down the road, but close enough to welcome 18 national staff and 100 local students during school terms. Rafiki includes 10 houses for the orphans, half a dozen buildings for school/ meals, and half a dozen buildings to house permanent mission staff and "mini-missionaries" like us.

First stop on our tour: "Wageni", the name of the house where my team and I stay, along with any other mini missionaries who will come these next two months. Not knowing what our living situation would be like, I was very impressed. It has 5 rooms, each with two bunks and their own full bathroom. A living space connects them all, with a kitchen, table, and couches; roughing it, we are not. It feels alot like the LBC staff lodge, actually.

The compound was originally the site of the Prez of Kenya's vacation home, "Kenyatta". The three story building houses the village directors, their offices, and a pleasant reception space.

Nice Shack, Babe

Walk a little further and you will pass by one of the gardens that provides veggies for meals...

....and lots of fun trees that are home to African critters (sparrows, hyraxes, bush babies, oh my!)

The 10 houses have ten kids and a Momma that lives with them (widows/single Christian Kenyan women who have come from various provinces to be compensated guardians to these kids). These houses surround a playfield where the kids often hang out and run around on their free time. The field is further encompassed by the school buildings, dinninghall, and football field. With gates, guards, and 12 foot walls, it feels completely safe to walk around--the walking path at sunrise and sunset is especially enjoyable.

Houses and field--note the many tires

Outside Wageni looking towards the gate

I'm excited to sightsee more of Kenya on the weekends, but I'll save those adventure stories for a later post. Next up, the PEOPLE.

And away we go!

2011-06-21T08:48:00.000-07:00

Hey friends! My team will be blogging weekly HERE with the rest of the INN's Deputees , but expect more personal reflection and updates on my own tried and true blog. And if you feel like sending some snail mail across the globe, well, more power to ya! 

Rafiki Foundation of  Kenya

P.O.Box 25372-00603 

Nairobi, Kenya, East Africa

Very excited for what God has planned for me and this team these next few months. Kenyan Summer 2011...Commence!

You make me new, You are making me new

2011-06-11T23:55:00.000-07:00

I don't know how I think it's possible to succinctly reflect on the past 4 years of college, of my life--but I am going to attempt it. [as always, click the links for fun goodies)

University of Washington, you have been good to me. Though I never felt especially connected with you--and at times came to hate the impersonal, mega-school feeling of the institution--you did provide some great learning and opportunities. I feel blessed that I can only think of a handful of teachers I didn't enjoy. Despite the large classroom size, I was able to speak my mind and be known by many of the professors. The beautiful campus, locale, and viewpoints made me happy to walk to class everyday. Some thoughts for future generations:

1) Reading room of Suzzallo is pretty, but not great for studying--we all know the Law Library is where it's at.

2) As the Queen of lower-division classes (I've taken so many 101-like courses, not ashamed of it), can I make some recommendations?

-Rorabaugh for Hist 101 (talks like Kermit the Frog and wrote his dissertation on "The Alcoholic Republic", therefore infusing any knowledge about America's reliance on booze into his lectures)
-Speed for Anth 202 (loves the Igbo people, analyzing hegemony, and sticks it to the university that kicks him out and then re-hires him every year)

-Seales for Music 331 (Obama look-alike (?) who made me laugh without trying to be funny)

-Berryman for BH 481 (Favorite lecturer--reminded me how much I love random history tid-bits)

-Gay for Educ&I 424 (super sassy black woman from the south, laid back, and has great stories)

-Wellman for Relg 201 (Princeton seminary grad who's not afraid to question his faith)

I think anyone will tell you--it's the teacher who makes material enjoyable or not. And all of these teachers were able to do that.

3) Utilize 9pm free parking for the IMA, and pretty much all their facilities

4) Next time: Go to more basketball games (and become bff's with Mr Gant), spend less time on certain assignments, take multiple classes from the teachers you like. heh

While I learned a lot at school (things I didn't even think I was interested in like Marxism, Feminism, hegemony, incidence vs prevalence, gothic novels, and the creation of basketball), these past four years have really been made by the relationships and community I have found in my time at UW. I've talked about my time at UCU and Umin, but haven't talked much about the INN. One reason I was very at peace with going to the UW as a senior in high school was the knowledge that there was a strong Christian community there, often centered around UPC's college ministry, the INN. While I enjoyed my first year going to freshman group and Tuesday nights in Larson Hall, it didn't play a major role in my week. Early sophomore year, I prayed that God would start surprising me--at the rate college was going that fall, it was not what I had envisioned and the path looked kinda "meh" ahead (basically I had a negative outlook, let's be real). Anyways, one of the ways God answered that prayer 3 years ago was how impactful the INN has been on my life these last few years, something that didn't hit me until late this year. From leading freshman group, to managing the Umin ladies house, to meeting with the R for speaking team, I have had such a good time here. It was cool how making my attendance at Tuesday night's INN a priority this year made me enjoy it so much more (A lesson with implications for anything I do in the future: get more involved in church, and you'll like it more; Decide to love someone, and you'll love them more). I've made fantastic friendships (too many to count), laughed a lot, worshiped, cried, been challenged, and experienced the Lord's grace and redemption in that community. When I think back on college, it won't be the classes or campus that comes to mind, but instead the intersection of 47th and 16th, and the 2 block radius around it that I have called home for 4 years.

It's amazing to see how the Lord has shaped me since my senior year in high school. I came in to college as a fresh 18-year-old-- bright-eyed and bushy tailed, ready for "my real life" to begin. I had plans and expectations about how school, love, and my story was going to go. I was living in paradoxes--both confident and terribly unsure, looking toward the future while dwelling in the past, maturing and yet increasingly aware of my ignorance (which, I suppose go hand in hand). God quickly debunked my preconceived notions about the future and plans that I had for myself, and I now thank Him all the time for it. Time and time again I have been slapped across the face with the reminder that God's plans for me are so much better than anything I can conceive for myself. It's a painful reminder, but fills me with so much hope and gratitude each time. He has used my joys and pains in my schoolwork, relationships with others, and life experiences to draw me into his loving embrace, lavishing me with his grace, provision, and faithfulness. This year I've especially learned about trust, and how my relationship with Him is rooted here.

The Lord has been so good to me, and has placed certain people in my life to show his love and mercy. I wouldn't be here without many of you all. So, some thanks are in order...

To my family: I love you. You encouraged me in my frustrations and discouragement, rejoiced with me in my successes, and spoke God's love to me even when I didn't feel like hearing it. You have always been my biggest advocates and will never give up on me. From paying bills to hauling my stuff, you do the grunt work with a servant's heart. All of you have been tremendous examples to me since childhood about how to be a good student, hard worker, and fervent follower of Christ. Thank you.

Amos and Anne: Not only do I count you as close friends, you guys helped me learn so much about living as a unit--what it's like to align schedules, experience the nitty-gritty of dividing responsibilities, compromising personal habits, communication styles, and backing down from arguments (still working on it). You both challenge me in my natural response to separate myself and temptation to use the excuse I give of being an "independent" personality; We are not made to be alone, but instead God has created us to be dependent on Him, and eachother. A lesson I am constantly relearning.

To anyone who has ever been my roommate: You ladies have a special spot in my heart. You've laughed, yelled, and mused with me. You put up with volcanic eruptions of mess on my floor, my love of music, and joy of underwear lounging. You've seen a lot of my quirks--good and bad--and gracefully forgiven my stubborn ways. Ahhh... I've had so much fun with you all, it's ridiculous.

K-Wo: I'm glad to call you my best friend. So glad we are still close and am excited to share our adventures together in the years to come, even if they're not always together.

Camp women: You know who you are. So glad to move from the context of LBC-friends to everyday life-friends! And so excited for Enchantments this summa!

Quadtiger: You played a large part in my college years and taught me more than you probably realize. Even though we aren't in eachothers lives anymore, know that I sincerely want God's best for you and care for you very much.

Senior INN ladies: It's been such a blessing to have a group of friends like you, a gift I wasn't expecting to receive so late in the game of college. Excited for the fun before us, and laughter....sshhiiiiidddeee buuueeebbbeee

B-Riggs, the R, and all the other INN staff who invested their time in me: I'm just one testament to the work you guys do--I'm sure there are so many like me with the same feelings of thankfulness. You encourage us all!

Senior Griizzzoouuppe: You all rock. I think we re-invented college ministry.

Four years, 181 credits, and one 45-page thesis paper later....and I'M DONE!! Grateful for the past, hopeful for the future, determined to live in the present.

And very excited for the adventures God and I continue to go on in this thing called life.

Yours,

Emily J VanOss

University of Washington, Bachelor of Arts--Public Health

Magna Cum Laude, Class of '11

2011-06-03T11:56:00.000-07:00

45 pages later...and my senior thesis is COMPLETE!

Thanks to my family and friends who encouraged me to trust and praise God through the process of uncertainties, anxiety, stacks of library books and downloads of scholarly journals. I learned alot through this process--about myself as a worker, my strengths/weaknesses as a student, and that writing is easy once you find a topic you believe in.

Praise the Lord! Let's boogie.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton is probably rolling in her grave right now.

2011-05-09T23:17:00.000-07:00

[Note: This story is not exciting per se, just...thought provoking for me, as themes of gender inequality, feminism, and women's degradation of their own gender status continue cropping up in my classes this quarter]

Scene: Monday night, 10:15 on Queen Anne outside of my core group leader's house

Here I am, with my three lovely core group ladies after a night of conversation, laughter, prayer, and yummy gyros. We are going to our cars, and stop on the sidewalk to discuss how to celebrate our last few times together before graduation. Ideas are tossed around, maybe a girly "ohh" or "eek" is exchanged--nothing loud, though-- when we see a 30-something woman walk to her screen door and shout, "Shut up and go be drunk somewhere else, you bimbo whores!"

Door slams shut.

My first reaction was to contain my laughter--one of those very throaty, piggy laughs I do when I feel awkward. Everything she said was just so off from me and my three friends, it was silly to me. We weren't drinking, we were covered head to toe in warm clothing, and our conversation was far from unintelligent.
We exchanged side glances with each other, stopped talking and got in our cars-- it was that bizarre.

Then on the way home I got to thinking...the whole thing was kinda disturbing. Mainly for this reason: This woman didn't even skip a beat when she said it--the sentence flowed off her tongue so easily, you'd think she had rehearsed it. These words must be so ingrained in whatever context or sub-culture she lives in, that to use them against perfect strangers who match none of the qualities is somehow deemed O.K.
What's worse is that you're almost guaranteed that these words have been used against her.

I passed by a sorority girl this week who called out to her friend, saying "Hey whore, how'd your test go?" Now this friend she was shouting to was beautiful and seemed to have a very sweet disposition, and from the 5 seconds I had to observe the whole interaction, it felt so....out of place. When is it ever okay to use a word like that--so embedded with meaning, history, power dynamics--as a term of endearment? It's so backwards. (And devalues the term, for that matter)

This phenomena isn't something new to me, to be sure--but I keep noticing it more and more. And as someone who finds myself increasingly critical of the constructs of womanhood in our culture, I can't help speaking out when I see women tare each other down, even in nonchalant settings like those described above, when "no real harm is done".

Because real harm is being done, to our gender as a whole. And ladies, we are a huge part of the problem.

This is a public declaration!

2011-05-08T22:27:00.000-07:00

Hello cyberspace readers. Just wanted you to be my accountability partners...for the next month or so, I shall work my body in some form or another (running, biking, ultimate friz, hot yoga) everyday until commencement.

Not really because I feel a pressing need to be in shape, but because I want to utilize this ability while I'm still in the U-dist (I love my running routes around here and the IMA is free). PLUS I can make the time. So let's DO THISSS

3 days down, 33 to go!

2011-04-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

[Excerpt from a commencement speech by David Foster Wallace, a prolific American author and professor at Pomona.]

"In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And an outstanding reason for choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship - be it JC or Allah, be it Yahweh or the Wiccan mother-goddess or the Four Noble Truths or some infrangible set of ethical principles - is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things - if they are where you tap real meaning in life - then you will never have enough. Never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your own body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly, and when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally plant you. On one level, we all know this stuff already - it's been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, bromides, epigrams, parables: the skeleton of every great story. The trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness. Worship power - you will feel weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to keep the fear at bay. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart - you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out.
The insidious thing about these forms of worship...is that they are unconscious. They are default settings. They're the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that that's what you're doing. And the world will not discourage you from operating on your default settings, because the world of men and money and power hums along quite nicely on the fuel of fear and contempt and frustration and craving and the worship of self. Our own present culture has harnessed these forces in ways that have yielded extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The freedom to be lords of our own tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the centre of all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it. But there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talked about in the great outside world of winning and achieving and displaying. The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. That is real freedom."

He's on to something here...I wish he had seen it before his suicide a few years later.

Where in your life are you broken?

2011-04-10T23:32:00.000-07:00

Great sermon at Bethany Community today. Listen to the sermon online when you have the chance.

2011-04-03T19:53:00.000-07:00

Ahh the life of a public health senior thesis student...and it's only going to get more cluttered.

It's good to know God has everything in control, and can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. 9 weeks to go! The end is in sight! Prayer appreciated.

2011-03-31T20:02:00.000-07:00

I got to babysit this little tyke on thursday of break. So smiley and adorable!

In general I'm hoping to spend more time with kiddos after I'm done with school. Whatever age, if you've got em (and they're cuties like the Reedster here), I'd love to hang with them!

2011-03-28T23:14:00.000-07:00

I had a great spring break! I went up to Malibu BC to do a work week with different YL college groups from the region. It was fantastic for various reasons, but probably the biggest was I got to spend some great time with my lovely group of INN ladies. I was perpetually laughing those 5 days.

We're really good at fake laughing

I got a sweet taste of the Younglife while there, and I am hooked. Such fun people, and a really integral ministry in bringing people to Christ. I'd love to get involved more. If I weren't doing dep this summer, I'd be an intern or on staff at Malibu in a heartbeat.

Plus, the camp itself is BEAUTIFUL. It's on a peninsula in the middle of nowhere....surrounded by snowy mountain peaks jutting up from the water. I think the best description I heard all week was that it "was so stupid".....that's how incredible our surroundings were. And it's true--I stood looking over the railings and just didn't. get it. It's a powerful thing when our brain never feels like it has a understanding of what it's looking at...and with God's creation, that's the way things should be.

The camp is like a little village; it's connected all by boardwalk and the cabins are the quintessential camp style you see in the movies. While I have doubts that the camp season facilitates such a close community like LBC, I can just imagine the awesome fellowship and friendship it could foster. Hopefully some day down the road, I will return.

2011-03-06T23:46:00.000-08:00

The prospect of finding a job scares me--not because I'm afraid I won't find one that pays the bills, but because I'm afraid I will end up spending 40+ hours of my week that I don't enjoy personally.
Of course there's something to be said for being in a job "that has an impact" or is "meaningful" to society. But what if I could marry the two: personal enjoyment that also encourages others?

I don't know what I want to do with my life, career wise. But, I do have a list of things I would love to spend time doing--whether I can make them into a career or not remains unknown.

-Write a collection of short stories about my childhood memories before I forget them. (or a whole memoir, if I had the time--not for others to read so much as for my own deconstruction and reflection)
-Make collages. Especially for all my friends.
-Organize people's houses
- Do a sociology research paper on my own time, with no pressure....probably about the urban underclass. Fascinating stuff.
-Own a sandwich shop/cafe/ community meeting space. The food wouldn't be the main point as much as the environment where people could hang out and interact, where I could hold after-hour parties for family, friends, church ministries....
- Learn guitar (okay, that's more of a hobby)
-Clean out peoples houses, resell antiques
-Refurbish dilapidated property to use as party venues
-plan events in general
-have some sort of presence in a high school (not as a teacher per say, but even general office staff...I think it would be an interesting look at the system)
- ministry of some kind

Is it possible that I could have a future doing one of these things? I sure hope so. Because right now, academia and "typical" jobs aren't peaking my interest...not one bit.

2011-03-01T20:56:00.001-08:00

Ode to Amos

2011-02-18T08:08:00.000-08:00

When we met, I don't think either of us imagined living together for all 4 years...yet we have! And I am constantly blessed by what an amazing friend she has been to me.

Let me tell you about Amy. She is warm and kind--that's pretty obvious right off the bat. You might also know her as a goof--once you get her giggling, she may not stop.

But she's also wise. She keeps Christ close and it shows in the way she cares for others. Her capacity for empathy and compassion constantly challenge me. She is strong-willed and passionate. She's kind, yes, but knows when to demand more from this world.

So. Beautiful.

Amy is a giver--I watch her give her time and attention to things, just because she's believes it's right. Fun and encouraging, fiesty and reflective--she's a gal you want to have in your life.

Happy Birthday Amos!! I love you, roomie.

2011-02-07T08:26:00.000-08:00

What to say about Mary Harris? She is a gem.

We've been friends for almost 5 years!

...And I continue to be blessed by her faithfulness, wisdom, joy, and fantastic sense of humor.

She is someone I can spill my thoughts to, and be completely sure that her response is what I need to hear; She is also someone I can crack up with late at night about the stupidest of things. And that combination alone is a rare find in a friend.

I think anyone who has spent some time with Mary quickly recognizes how she radiates Jesus. People are drawn to her because she loves well. She lives her life with humility, grace, and hope that is rooted in her trust in the Lord.

Also, just look at what a gorgeous woman she is! Total babe.

I don't know how I got to be blessed with such an amazing friend, but ooohh boy, I'm sure glad I did! Very glad to celebrate my lifelong friend on this day. Happy 22nd, Mary!

The following..

2011-01-12T00:49:00.000-08:00

is an assignment for my multiethnic instruction class. I had some constraints (4 sections: cultural origins, background, personhood, and desired role in relation to cultural diversity--all in metaphors). Point being--I was surprised by how much I enjoyed writing it.

I Am

I began across the great divide, in fields of red and yellow flora

Propelled by the whoosh of oscillating giants,

Restless, leather faces were ready for new life

Drawn by the call of lady liberty and the western horizon

Determined to stake a claim on the barren heart of opportunity

I come from a dream world where the plays the thing

Afternoons spent acting out fantasies of my future, by making up stories of the past

All the while these ingrained dreams unknown to those at the dinnertable,

Our centerpiece of evening table talk and persistent prayer.

My father’s hymns shrouded us three cherubs, My mother’s patchwork of maternal mercy

Wrapped us up, making our pioneer clan a clenched fist, unable to pry apart

I am an unschooled theorist, a purposeful ponderer in an adrift world

Lost in a labyrinth of voices and questions I don’t have quick answers for

Looking for holes in the bushes where I can escape unscathed

I am a girl trying on her mother’s red pumps

Eager to fill roles I’m not ready for

I am a tightrope walker, balancing my youthful dreams with jaded reality

Focusing on the ringmaster with the crown of thorns before me,

Allowing him to be my guide and source of joy under the glaring stage lights of adversity

I want to be truth in a world of broken, ambiguous moral rules

I want to be an empty page, where stories can be recounted and valued

I want to be a raised hand in the back of the hall that asks why, and then demands a better explanation

I want to be an alarm clock to those sleeping peacefully in beds of ignorance

I want to be compassion and understanding

I want to be light in a crooked world

2010-11-08T21:08:00.000-08:00

As the INN prepares to send 30 students to Cambodia this spring break to help victims of sex trafficking....

A sobering reminder.

This isn't a far and away problem. It's all around us.

A-Mazing.

2010-11-01T10:12:00.000-07:00

Radical projected images and lighting. Go-go dancers. Gypsy metallic pants and wings. Stumbling over words. Silly dance moves. Sufjan sounded just like the record. All the electronic blips were there, all the layers--the songs were flawless. All in all, a great performance.

2010-09-28T11:06:00.000-07:00

This summer had the potential to be fairly dull and mundane...30+ hours a week at two jobs, living at home, etc. But it was so much better than I could have anticipated! With a M-F work schedule and the evenings to my disposal, I was able to spend alot of time with various friends & family and feel refreshed. Evening bike rides to gasworks, birthday celebrations, sleepovers, and RAM trivia made for great fun this summer. Some thanks are in order:

- To my next door neighbors who live in Alaska for 6 weeks in the summer, thus enabling me to housesit. It's fun to have your own space and be able to host people without the cost of rent.

- To my flexible jobs that allowed me to work as much as I wanted, when I wanted. Maybe they didn't pay the best, but it was easy work that allowed me to reach my financial goal so I can do deputation next year!

- To Jim Dale, for being my friend and guide as I fell in love with the world of Harry Potter. Bucket List goal ACHIEVED!

- To Abby and Lisa, for graciously hosting and inviting me to sleep over in 4-per whenever I liked. I have fond memories of my summer '08 at UCU, and it was nice to be enjoy a bit of that again with all its tomfoolery, not to mention build on those two friendships. Girly sleepovers are good for the soul.

-To Spiro, the Platter kids, Kris, Kallie, cabin 3B and everyone at Teen 2 this summer...never have I laughed so much in one week. What a rejuvenating 7 days...reminded me why I love camp so much!

- To my pals Kailey, Mary & Milo, Erin, and sis Maureen for some great company and conversation.

- To my parents for their unconditional love and comforts of home (dinner and ice cream drumsticks to boot!)

- To hard lessons and freeing realizations that could only have come from above.

- To my loved ones for providing a great birthday week.

The only thing I wish had been different were more hours in the week! It was great nearly always having plans each day, but I could've used more down time. Plus I didn't get to go through a TV series like I've done each summer since high school (Dexter will have to be done during the school year). Oh well, I can't complain! Summer 2010 was great.

Photo cred: J Spiro

Photo credit: E Hanson

Over the hill

2010-07-31T01:16:00.000-07:00

There are so many things I could say about Lakeside Bible Camp, but I will keep it brief.

No other place or experience has impacted me more than the time I have spent at camp.

I guarantee you that my life would be very different without it. It is where I truly gave my life to the Lord at age 13. It is where I fell before him in surrender at age 18.

Christ has revealed so much to me these past 8 years; from the programming and speaking I suppose, but mainly from the beautiful people who have become like family. They have been the source of encourgement, laughter, affirmation, rebuke, frustration, and challenge. They are my body of fellow believers; they are my church. It is through these people and experiences that have pushed me towards God. Or rather, God has brought me to him using these people and this place; I flee from him every day, and he continually brings me back into his arms.

To me, this place is the closest thing to heaven.

30 years ago, something brilliant happened.

2010-07-26T10:59:00.000-07:00

Mark VanOss and Jean Collins got hitched.

The older I get, the more I appreciate my parents and what they've done for my family. Mark and Jean are pretty stellar individuals, and together they make a very sweet pair.

Umin lovin'

2010-06-14T23:42:00.000-07:00

This school year has gone by in a flash. Sure, I learned some stuff, read some books, had fun. But the one thing I want to reflect on is my experience at Umin.

When I decided to leave UCU, I didn't have clear answers as to why I felt the need to change houses. I mean, I suppose many of my good friends at UCU were leaving. The house as I knew it was changing. I could sense the dynamic wouldn't be the same. I was growing tired of the rigidity. The tom-foolery had lost its appeal. I was maturing, or at least had had my fill for the time being. Change was in the air--I could feel it coming. Women's intuition, you could call it. OR, simply the little voice inside telling me "Trust". So I did. And it was one of the best choices I have ever made.

Oh I'm sure I would've had a good time at UCU--I hung out there enough this year to warrant a "UCU live-out" title. But this house of 11 girls...it's where I needed to be. This year was full of changes, discoveries, and learning. Break-throughs were made. And those needed to happen in the company of these 10 other women. We were all re-evaluating. God provided me with sound counsel, comfort, laughter, entertainment, insight, perspective, inspiration (hehe), and sisterhood among women in love with Christ.

People asked me throughout the year which Christian house I liked better, and my answer was always the same: "They're completely different things". UCU is always alive with company, laughter, lively debate, and silliness. UCU allowed my love for mischief and rambunctiousness to thrive. I spoke my mind (too often). I enjoyed pushing and challenging people. If I wanted attention, I could nearly always get it. If I wanted male attention, I could nearly always get it.

But I was craving something more--a scale down, yet a new depth that UCU just wasn't offering. The amount of girls at UCU was getting to be too much; it kept things at the surface with many. Don't get me wrong, I made some strong friendships with those there. But the feeling of the UCU girls house as a whole was at times separated, clustered, and many showed restraint in being vulnerable--which was still a challenge at our house. But at Umin, there was a sense of comfort and ease. That you could be yourself, completely. It was our home. All ours. No sharing with boys, no having to look presentable or act ladylike. We were free to scream out, spill the beans with everyone, and trust in our little family.

Dance parties in the rain. Cooking mishaps. House dinner laughter. Three G's. Bunko. Hiding from neighbors. Morning grogginess. TV Wednesdays (everyday). Gasworks runs at night. July in January. Hugs and words of affirmation. Singing in the kitchen. Thanksgiving. Fireplace shrine. Movie nights. Valentines Day celebrations. Future business endeavors. Impersonations. Evenings out as a house. Challenging words. Godly wisdom and encouragement.

We were silly and ridiculous. We were unashamed. We lived unapologetically.

Umin girls was the next step in independence. Next year will be an even bigger step. I hope I get to live in a large house of girls again--I absolutely love it.

2010-03-01T10:18:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot about NGO's and aid work. The further I get into my public health major, the more I feel a calling to get into relief/missions. What an opportunity to show Christ's love.

Here's a cool opinion piece on Christian relief operations from the NYTimes.

2010-02-11T22:03:00.001-08:00

I've had some good breakthroughs recently. But here's one major one:

I really feel like my heart needs to expand like..... 3x the size it is now.

I've spend years picking out people's differences, or trying to find like minded people.
I'm done with it.
I want to love people, however they are.

2010-02-07T11:01:00.001-08:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tompalumbo/sets/72157603711224961/show/

2010-02-06T12:26:00.001-08:00

The phrase "Nice Try" has always been like nails on a chalkboard for me.

Whether it's while playing a game or in my achievements, I find it to be the most degrading form of sympathy.

It's not that I'm opposed to receiving sympathy....But if I do something wrong or dumb, I'd rather have someone grimace or laugh with me-- share in whatever feelings I'm having in that moment-- than to have to accept their counteractive, band-aid empathy.

Welcome, 2010!

2010-01-01T17:31:00.000-08:00

A new decade.

I wish I could've compiled some kind of list of favorites from the past ten years like I do with each year , but that would be like asking what my favorites in LIFE have been. It's asking too much.
The 00's were more than just a decade in my life-- they were my formative years. 10-20 years old.
Sure, I had fun memories before that, but really--the 2000's have constituted the bulk of my existence thus far. Crazy.

The 10's are going to be fun because of all the life changes one will possibly encounter--graduating college, career decisions, travel, dating, falling in love, marriage, homes, maybe even kids.

Whoa.

A few camp buddies and I were pondering this today over some mcchickens and fries and decided "Hey! Let's commemorate the date by writing down some predictions for eachother on the back of this McDonald's receipt". Should be fun to see how close or far we will deviate from our bets....

Ode to 2009

2009-12-31T10:30:00.000-08:00

OH 2009! You were....fantastic.

Favorites (in no particular order)
Movies:
- Inglourious Basterds
- (500) Days of Summer
- Up
- Fantastic Mr Fox
- District 9, Avatar

Albums/ Artists I added to my listening repertoire:
- Muse- Resistance
- Spiro- Elephant Song
- John Mayer- Battle Studies
- Bon Iver
- She & Him

Singles:
"Sweet Disposition"- The Temper Trap
"My Girls"- Animal Collective
"No You Girls"- Franz Ferdinand
"Prospekt's March"- Coldplay
"My Love"- The Bird and the Bee

Great Moments:
- Blustery ferry rides to and from Bainbridge
- Study break talks over soy milk in the UCU dining room
- California Road Trip '09: The laughing, the singing, the yelling, the sunbathing, the lodging. What a ride.
- Leading freshman group
- Answered prayers
- Running in the early morning of spring quarter
- A warm spring! Sunshine, laying in the grass, frisbee throwing
- UCU ultimate
- Beach Bash at Lake Wenatchee
- 4-per silliness
- LBC staff 2009: 11 weeks of bliss! Early morning runs in the warm rain, 8:10 morning meetings, meal time silliness, "lifeguarding" (aka getting a tan), cute kids, annoying kids, Ron Hutchcraft, chatting on the deck, late night tom foolery, Kathleen's hugs, friendships, endless laughter...(I mean, let's be honest here--I lived up at my favorite place with some of my favorite people for a summer. I could go on for a while here.)
- Getting to see my favorite bands in concert: Travis, Coldplay, Muse
- Tim and Ashley's Wedding in Knoxville, TN
- Unexpectantly getting into UW's Public Health major
- My soul sistas of Umin
- New home
- New experiences

I have been so blessed and learned a lot this year. 2009 was great! I loved it all.

2009-12-23T00:40:00.000-08:00

Oh my friends I've returned to Sister Winter

Oh my friends I apologize, apologize

I hate indifference. It really is the worst state to be in.

But that's where I am this season.

I have not gotten into the "Christmas spirit" this year, and doubt that I will be.

I'm not especially sad, though sadness and grief have struck my community. I'm not angry. I'm not anxious. I'm just....apathetic.

I hate that trait in others, and therefore don't enjoy seeing it in myself either.

I feel numb. Not in a bitter way, just--I'm not. feeling. anything.

And I know where this feeling is coming from. It's due to a distance from God that needs some attention.

This break was going to be alot about getting my foot in the door and finding jobs, volunteer opportunities. Now, I think I have a new focus. A more urgent one.

2009-12-11T21:12:00.000-08:00

Welp...glad I got that out of my system.

Now on to bigger and better things.....

2009-11-15T21:06:00.000-08:00

The desire of God is not burnt sacrifice

Reverence on the outside is no certain sign

His delight is when we become broken inside

Our God will not despise a heart that's contrite

Create in me a clean heart O, my God

And restore unto me the joy that you bring

Cleanse me from sin and renew me within

And i'll tell of your ways for all of my days

From "You have opened my mouth"- J Brown and C Huxford

Random November Catch-up

2009-11-01T13:58:00.000-08:00

The past week has been perfect fall weather--mild temperatures, blasting wind, hard rain, and sunshine. I love it.

Brian and I saw (500)Days of Summer last night at the crest....I liked it ALOT. Funny, cute, and a refreshing alternative to normal cinematic "love" stories.

I'm really enjoying buying groceries and cooking for myself. I wasn't looking forward to making my own meals when I moved in, but I've really liked being able to buy my own food (spinach! zucchini! odwalla juice! goat cheese pizza!) and having the satisfaction of making my own creations. I'm looking forward to the day I have my own kitchen and a hungry brood to feed.

Hanging out with the girls in my house continues to be more fun. We've got a solid group.

Lots of dance parties this month. Doppleganger, a dance or two at Tim and Ashley's reception, UCU, and a brief appearance at 5027 yesterday. I think i'm good for the next....8 months or so. Well, except for the one on New Years that my sister and I will do in the family room as the fireworks go off on King 5. That's a must.

I'm enjoying my acting class alot (Drama 251). I'm doing my monologue on tuesday-- Inez from Sartre's "No Exit". Should be fun.

Finally, I found out that I got accepted into the Public Health major! I wasn't expecting that they would even look at my application, because usually they only review those with a high GPA after 100 credits (I have 92) first. I knew I would get in at some point, but was feeling the pressure to 4.0 my 2 public health related classes this quarter--which would be asking alot of myself, considering I'm taking 5 classes total. Now, that pressure has been lifted. I've always strived to do well for my own satisfaction, but its nice knowing there's no consequence riding on my GPA anymore. Anyways, totally unexpected and an answer to prayer.

Welp, back to studying about Syphilis and Dengue Fever!

Art imitating science.

2009-10-12T10:39:00.000-07:00

As part of my public health class, we're supposed to read health articles in the science section of the NY Times. But the slideshows always seem to distract me.....this one is on award winning pictures from under a microscope.

2009-10-09T10:00:00.001-07:00

Things I'm looking forward to:

-Three day weekends all quarter!

-Catching up with good friends L. and Anna this afternoon

-Doppleganger danz tomorrow at the Spiro's

-Making a few extra bucks every wednesday doing childcare at UPC

-Tim and Ashley's Seattle party next saturday

-Halloween festivities: UCU dance, pumpkin carving

-More laughter and fun with the Umin ladies

-Growing with my community of believers

Last Day of my Summer 09

2009-09-29T15:58:00.000-07:00

Oh what a season its been.

One month has passed since I left camp, and I'm still processing all the things I learned/experienced this summer.

Kindness. Understanding. Vindication. Celebration. Companionship. Acceptance. Unconditional love. Forgiveness. Redemption. Discipleship. Friendship. Pain. Uncontrollable laughter. Compassion. Care-free days. Joy.

It's been great, one of my favorite summers for sure. Now on to my junior year!

The inward groaning for reconciliation

2009-09-27T13:52:00.000-07:00

Redemption.

A word that has been on my mind since the beginning of summer. Of all the common biblical terms, it is what fascinates and mystifies me the most.

The concept is around us in culture too. Shawshank Redemption is a favorite movie of mine. Redeeming Love, though fluffy and smarmy at times, tells the story of a man who takes in a prostitute as his wife, releasing her from a life of pain and seeks to help repair her heart. Muse's Exogenesis part 3 pleads for a new beginning.

What can be redeemed? People, relationships, the past, aspects of your life. All these things become tainted from sin. Galatians 3 says we are cursed by nature. We are impure, twisted, hurtful, and unrighteous. Most of all, we are separated from God. We are not who he created us to be.

But no man can redeem the life of another (Pslams 49). We may try to change the sin in others, and more often try to change ourselves. But no matter how hard you try, it can't be done. Redemption only comes through Jesus's blood (1 Peter 1:18). The slate of your life's sin is erased with this ultimate sacrifice of atonement completed 2,000 years ago. And its power is never going to fade away.

Upon redemption one is..

Purified. Restored. Holy. Released from blame, distress, captivity. Reconciled. Won back. Reclaimed. Made new. Free.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting mens sins against them."

2 Corinthians 5:17

Can you think of more glorious feeling than that? Bah! I love it.

To be a cosmo girl. Bleh.

2009-09-10T10:36:00.001-07:00

This week I’ve been spring cleaning my room, and one of my tasks has been getting rid of maybe 60 magazines I had on my bookshelf. I needed material to cut out for collages, so I went through each one. Out of choice, mind you but still…

So draining.

I obviously haven’t picked up a teen magazine in a while, because at the end of the day I was feeling sick. Article after article on “How to be the best kisser” or “Does he really love you?” and “Guys tell you what’s REALLY on their minds” or “Hookup hotline”—made me so glad I never “fell in love” or dated someone when I was 14 or 15. How tempting it would’ve been at a young ignorant age to take these things to heart. Not to say that most of their advice is bad—for the most part it encourages being treated well and making sure you’re happy. But it’s all about self-fulfillment. It’s based on finding confidence in you as a female rather than in something greater (try the Almighty). It has low expectations for boys that age--they’re all seen as animals who can’t really help themselves. What’s more, sex is thrown around so cheaply as the (unstated) natural progression of a relationship.

And that was just the “Seventeen” magazines I was reading.

Somehow my sister and I had acquired some Cosmopolitans in our collection. *As a disclaimer, I will say that there is a time and place for some of the information in this magazine...some women entering marriage could really benefit from those articles. But on the other hand I could go on and on about all the things this magazine projects to women: sex/ relationships are about self-gratification and pleasure, money = beauty = men = success, that men only want one thing. Committed love and sex going hand in hand is a rarity. But what got me the most is the heartbreak that line these pages. Advice questions like “After four happy months of dating my guy, I used the ‘L’ word. The next day he broke up with me. I thought things were going great! What’s the deal?” or talking about cheating and infidelity like it was just another part of life. Which it actually is for most Americans.

That’s what sucks. This “Cosmo” life is a reflection of what really goes on. It feeds it, but its also just showing the already solidified mindset of those around me. I have friends who have fallen into this thinking, sleeping around with different guys because it’s a rite of passage or returning to a boyfriend they don’t even love for “the practice”. The idea that “if a guy really loves you, he won’t care how experienced you are” is foreign to them. And looking around at most of the guys in college, I understand why. They buy into the Cosmo life too.

This sickening feeling wasn’t helped by watching “He’s just not that into you” with my mom this week. My dad actually watched a good amount of it, and turned to us at one point, asking “Is this really what its like?”. Yeah Dad. For most young Americans, I think it is.

This entry wasn’t meant to bash these magazines or paint this as a “new problem” that requires action—its just another example of sin that has been with us since the fall. I’ve certainly noticed these things before, and have often felt convicted about the topic. But being at the place and age that I am now, I am especially struck at the pain and striving of the women who read these magazines, and knowing that what they are really looking for is hope in the Savior.

Island Voyager

2009-06-16T10:56:00.000-07:00

June 16th-August 30th on Deer Lake, Whidbey Island.

If you'd like to be pen pals, write me a letter (or send a package!) mail to:

Lakeside Bible Camp

PO Box 310

Clinton, WA 98236

Otherwise, you can email, leave me a voicemail/text, and I'll respond....at some point.

Oh, and look at pictures throughout the summer at the camp website!

Things I've learned at UCU

2009-06-14T23:30:00.000-07:00

I moved out of UCU this past weekend. I scoured the whole house looking for any remaining remnants of me...blow-up toys, flip flops under the guys couch, VHS's scattered in the basement. My wallet feels empty without my magnetic key. For the first time since September 2007, all of my stuff is now at my parents house. For the first time in two years, I will not call UCU home.

This is a compilation of memories and lessons learned while at UCU. Perhaps it can benefit those entering the house (yeah Lisa!) but mostly I do it for my own therapeutic needs.

1) You can always make time for mischief. ALWAYS.

2) The guys living room is the perfect place to study at night, especially for finals...annnd if you want to be interrupted by amusing conversations with your male comrades next door.

3) Steer clear of the desserts if you want to keep away from the freshman fifteen. Except raspberry buttercake. And chocolate cookie bars. OH and those brownies with solid chocolate in the middle! And rhubarb-strawberry crisp and....

4) Don't judge people based on your first impressions. Examples: Marg the conservative country girl, Juan the awkward foreigner, Dan the Dad, Anna the nerdy bookworm ( i dont know where the heck I got that idea from), Mindy the ball of fun (well, that was right), Tage the beachy manwhore.....hah, I could go on. All false. Just give everyone a chance, like they give you.

5) Try to talk to Rupert, our resident vagabond (that is, if he'll stay in your vicinity for more than 10 seconds). I've been trying to figure that guy out for a while. Just don't agree to sew his pants....he may fall in love with you.

6) If possible, create an exclusive secret society.

7) The kitchen is where everything happens.

8) Try to keep your giggling during Lauren's joint meetings at a minimum. It's poor form.

9) Even though we all complain about monday meetings, bible study is what you all make it. Be transparent.

10) Invite the guys to watch the Bachelor. They might just dig it.

11) Anything crazy happens after 11pm.

12) You can sleep when your dead.

13) Dont get enough sleep and YOU WILL DIE.

14) You can only have so many grape fights on friday night dinners at the guys house before it gets old, quick. Dont be that girl.

15) Get to known Alli, sooner rather than later. She's so cool, and I only got to scratch the surface.

16) Encourage singing at the dinner table. And animal noises. Just always stick around, dont scarf down your food in 8 minutes (guilty as charged)

17) If you can manage, wake up early. Spend time with God before the houses start their day.

18) Have a phone booth party. It will probably be the only time you'll ever spend in there (don't even bother to answer the girls landline. Its almost always Qwest or Pepsi...or a prankcaller from next door)

19) Your social life will sometimes revolve around meals due to schoolwork. And thats a Godsend.

20) Third deck is the better floor, hands down.

21) There's a sign that says no going on the roof, buuuut....all I'm gonna say is that i've had some great one-on-one time there with the big guy upstairs. And perhaps some summer cigar time.

22) Invest in a fan and earplugs. Those Beta boys are freakin' LOUD.

23) Oh, and super entertaining. I've seen those guys do just about anything in those windows...pluck their eyebrows, do the deed, pee out the 4th floor window....

24) In general, try to block out what you hear (and see!) from the neighbors next door.

25) Refrain from waking the guys up before 9am, even if its for a nice prank. Especially Juan.

26) Dont schedule anything during dinner. That's precious time to bond with your ladies. Also, have girl nights often to keep informed. Just dont let the guys know, or else they'll get ya with a axe bomb.

27) Always try to stick around after lunch. The topics of conversation always prove to be...enlightening.

28) On that note, watch what you say. I had trouble with this sometimes, and would just blurt out stuff to add entertainment. The worst feeling is to say something that you regret, especially if it gives others a false understanding of who you are.

29) Water balloon filling is always better from the bathroom tubs.

30) Pranks are a requirement of living in the women's house. Period.

31) If you ever feel the urge to spy on a guy's meeting--STOP RIGHT THERE. You may end up being dragged from your closet by a group of wild savages ready to pin you down and threaten you with a 5 foot sword. Also, dont touch their bell. Infact, dont do anything shifty while they're on their testosterone high. They get pretty riled up.

32) Do IMA intramural with the house. UCU ultimate 09, baby!

33) Bathrooms are where you will hear the most poignant discussions on God, love, and life.

34) Dishes with music makes it that much better.

35) Understand that when you initiate a water fight, you are guaranteed to come out the loser. Thats just how it works with those guys. And never stand on the porch between their house and the kitchen door. I've seen far too many fall victim to the toilet's power.

36) In need of a good cry session? Get a blanket, a dvd (Notebook or PS I Love You are sure-fire winners) and let it all go with your best girlfriends.

37) If a big burly black guy comes in and says that he's one of Chad's friends, call the police!

38) Live there in the summer if possible. Cheap, layed back, crazy times.... it was the main reason why my summer 08 was so dang good.

39) Need time away? The girls porch on a sunny day is the perfect place to unwind.

40) Don't be afraid to speak up in meetings. Or in any situation, really. If you believe in it, say so.

41) Even when you feel like you dont have any time, make sure you take breaks throughout the studying. Make a smoothie, run around the house with a british accent, have a good discussion. It will make you feel better AND you'll be more productive. Just dont ever get it in your head to scare the guys by rapping on their basement window or shoot water balloons at passer-byes. Though I love mischief, it can really reveal my foolishness sometimes.

42) The 17th ave guys are a waste of time. Note: This doesnt pertain necessarily to what i've learned at UCU, just good common knowledge.

43) Play boardgames if you've got a group gathered around the table with nothing to do. I didn't do that enough.

44) Be who you are. Dont wait 2 months in before showing your personality.

45) Dont be tempted to stay within the confines of your house. Community is available anywhere, even right outside your door.

46) On that note, get to know the men's ucu house sooner rather than later. You might find some pretty cool people live over there.

47) Dance away your problems with the 17 other girls you live with. Roomie dance parties in the morning are especially encouraged.

48) Be intentional with others, especially the girls in your house. Its easy to pass off spending time with them just because you live with them. Go to coffee, take a walk around the neighborhood...dont assume those relationships just because of proximity. Work on them, feed them.

49) Anytime you hear a conversation headed toward the topic of relationships, stick around. You are guaranteed to hear the greatest soundbites.

50) Realize your appreciation for the house and show it while you're there.

UCU has been my foster family for the past two years, and pretty much the bulk of my college experience thus far. Who knew that my second choice for a living situation would turn out to be such a life-impacting experience? Needless to say, I have been blessed, and God knew that's where I should be even when I couldn't see it.

I will miss that house. But my adventures with the people who have passed through those doors will continue.

Now, on to new things!

Today marks exactly

2009-05-20T10:40:00.000-07:00

3 more weeks until...

-School is over until September

-I move out of UCU

-I am officially half way done with college

-My Summer BEGINS

What this means:

-After this holiday weekend, work/study like crazy

-Set aside time to celebrate with friends (Grad party, Sam and Aaron's, Student Leadership)

-Enjoy my time with UCU friends as much as possible

4 more weeks until...

-STAFF

What this means:

-Compile my shopping wish list

Birkenstocks-- check
Junk Food-- check
Still need: One-piece, shorts/capris, decent tank tops, healthy food options, inflatable water toys

-Take a CPR class

-Bring my mac into the store to get fixed

-Spend quality time with the fam

-See high school friends before I leave

This weekend was a blast.

2009-05-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

*We WON our ultimate playoff game, and continue on tonight.

*Cheesecake factory with the ladies.

*Midnight frisbee golf with the UCU men returned after a 6 month hiatus.

*Walk around Ballard.

*Elephant ears at the U district fair.

*HW on the front porch in the sunshine.

*10pm bikeride around greenlake.

*Alki beach with my kindred spirit, Mary.

*Napping on the living room couch.

Right now Im trying to finish a research paper so I can fully enjoy my memorial day weekend at Leavenworth/Wenatchee with UCU. Oh how I love May!

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

2009-05-05T20:12:00.000-07:00

In the course of 6 hours, God gave me two big answers--YES!

Firstly, I will be on staff at Lakeside Bible Camp this summer! I've always known I wanted to do it since I've been going to camp and this year I really felt like it was where God wanted me to be. After a month and a half of waiting, I heard back on thursday! I was in the library--otherwise, I would've done a "STEVE HOLT!" right there.

I'm assuming I will be first aid, which was my first choice. I'm excited for the flexibility of the job and also the direct contact with campers (who also tend to be the whiners or ones who just need friends). I'm trying not to dream about it too much--I still have 6 mores weeks of school!--but I am already anticipating early morning quiet times by the lake, pranks, laughter, and late night cereal parties with camp legends. Ahhh, 11 weeks at camp with great friends. Cannot wait!

Secondly, I got into Umin, a house run through the INN, a college ministry of UPC. Basically they have a house for 11 female students seeking Christian community and involvement in the INN. Originally me and 4 UCU girls were going to move out together, but two are transferring and one decided she wanted to stay at UCU. I was up for either staying at UCU or UMin, but in the end I thought it was time to try something new--a new group of girls, more interactions with other christian communities, and more independence (i'll be cooking for myself!). Plus, its cheaper, and to top it off, I will be house manager, which will also be my role on student leadership. This is awesome because I didnt feel like I was being called to any other ministry in the INN for next year. Basically I will be in charge of facilitating meetings, encouraging community, dealing with conflicts, and house maintenance. Plus it has some perks.

Here's the google maps view of it....i was too lazy to go out and take a picture.

I was worried about leaving the community I've called home and family for the past two years, but the good thing is...its only two houses down from UCU! So as long as I'm intentional with those relationships, they wont be going anywhere! I will be missing the big screen tv to my disposal though....no matter.

Yay for new opportunities!

Schadenfreude

2009-04-18T18:58:00.001-07:00

Thursday's College mariners night was a bust. Griffey didn't play, neither did Felix Hernandez (rendering my "I <3 Felix" sign unapplicable), the sophomores were being exclusive, and we lost to the angels.

But this redeeming moment made it all worth it.

We all clamored in the nose bleed section to see what the police and commotion was about.

While it wasnt funny that this man fell from the right field stands--what was funny was when, as he was walking away from us with his back turned, the pants just dropped to his ankles. He didnt seem to mind that much either, since he left himself flapping in the wind for quite a while, so...I felt okay laughing.

Scottish Love

2009-04-14T23:37:00.000-07:00

I never got to debrief about my concert experience two sundays ago at the Showbox for Travis.

Well here we go....

IT WAS AMAZING!

(picture from the night, taken off the Showbox website)

We were two rows back, right in between Fran (the lead singer) and Dougie, the bassist. They played nearly all my favorite songs (All I Want to Do is Rock, Writing to Reach You, Closer (sigh), Driftwood, Re-offender, My Eyes, Selfish Jean) and sounded at times even better than recording. They had the greatest accents, and were such a jolly, fun loving group.

I have never felt more Beatle mania than at this concert. Every time Erin, Stephanie and I would lock eyes with Dougie the bassist, we would just melt. He didnt seem much of anything when he walked up on stage, but that smile....really made us feel like giddy school girls.

Best part-- at the end of the set, Dougie tossed out his guitar pick into the crowd. It bounced off Erin's shoulder, and landed right by my foot! Its still sitting on my desk, where it shall remain forever. If I ever decide to pick up guitar, I am told by reliable sources that those are PRIMO guitar picks. Sweet.

Too bad for the Coldplay concert I know I will be so far back....still, I am excited for my next concert!

Expect the Unexpected.

2009-04-11T13:52:00.000-07:00

I look forward to Easter every year.

To celebrate Christ's resurrection with my family, yes. But also...

....nearly every Easter, something strange happens.

I've had a pet rabbit die, two car crashes on separate years occur on our street corner, a tree fell near our driveway, and one year someone broke into our house and stole our car. All on Easter.

Last night during a Good Friday service I was attending with friends, someone broke a window in our driver's car and stole his backpack, along with some visiting friends purses (one included her passport).

Two days early? I'm not sure it counts.

But none the less, I am excited to see what tomorrow brings.

A New Spin on Pslams 23

2009-04-08T16:30:00.001-07:00

I felt a little lost in my bible reading today, until I read this.

In leu of facing probably my most challenging quarter so far, decisions about living situations for junior year and impending major applications, this is exactly what I needed to hear.

God, my shepard! I don't need a thing.

You have bedded me down in lush meadows,

you find me quiet pools to drink from.

True to your word,,

you let me catch my breath
and sent me in the right direction.

Even when the way goes through Death Valley

I'm not afraid
when you walk at my side

You revive my drooping head: my cup brims with blessing

Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life

I'm back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.

The Message

As I eat my last Jimmy John's sub and take a break from lost....

2009-03-28T13:57:00.001-07:00

Today is my official* last day at UW's Waterfront Activities Center. It is very bittersweet for me. This was my first job and I couldn't have asked for a better place to work. Getting a tan in the summer, working with hilarious people, great bosses, a gorgeous view, and getting payed to do homework during winter time. But all good things must come to an end. I wanted something new for this summer, and I figured I should just stop working now for a care-free spring quarter.

Still, I'm gonna miss this place.

*I left the option open that if someone needed me to cover them, I'd take their shift. So perhaps not gone for good.

A tide of excitement and peace that has yet to finish washing over me.

2009-03-04T16:37:00.000-08:00

It was a very bittersweet feeling as I watched the announcement of the Deputee's last night.

Deputation is an 8 week mission trip in which participants are placed in a team of 3 other students and are sent to one of 9 different countries to do mission work. I've known a number of people who have participated in it (my brother went to Ethiopia in '05), and while it seemed like an amazing, life-changing program, I have never been passionate about doing it.

Believe me, I would LOVE to travel to far off places, serving God and seeing how he's already working in the lives of others. Plus, the trip's price is highly reduced thanks to the church, so you can't expect to find a cheaper long-term mission trip.

So come last month, I was faced with the opportunity to apply. I looked over the list of locations, and got really excited when i saw the Manila, Phillippines description. It sounded like a great fit for me, but really, any of the locations would be awesome to visit: Ireland, Kenya, India, Serbia....this being said, I turned in my application the next day. I went to the meetings, and you honestly couldn't find a better group of people going. It sounded so appealing, and you're doing God's work, so it can't be a bad decision....right?

I found myself being really anxious about it. Some days I was all for it; other days it seemed like there were too many reasons why I shouldn't go. In all honesty, the whole idea scared me: Not picking where or whom I would be going with. Cost. Worries about my own effectiveness in loving people I can barely communicate with.

I worried that these were just signs of me not wanting to get out of my own comfort zone. But after examining myself, talking with others, and a lot of lost sleep, I realized I simply didn't have the passion for it. When I do something big like Deputation, I don't want to be anxious to the point of tears-I want to know that it's exactly what I should be doing, how I should be serving. And I just didn't feel it.

But something else had been on my heart, and that was staff at Lakeside. I applied last year, but eventually turned it down because of my lack of interest and wanting to stay in seattle and work. But this year, it felt different. The passion was/is there. Instead of thinking about staff for my own benefit (having fun at camp with people I enjoyed), I feel called to love the campers I come in contact with, to be their friend, to be a light and (hopefully) reflection of Jesus, and to just serve a ministry that has impacted my life in every way imaginable. I might go so far to say that it was the first time I had thought about doing staff, or even serving at camp, without selfish reasons.

Once I realized this, everything felt....right. I could breathe again.

Fast forward two weeks from this decision: I sent in my application this past weekend, and I keep learning about awesome people who also applied.

Staff is definitely not set in stone; I still need to be excepted. But....either way, God is good and I have loved hearing his still small voice these past few weeks.

I appears I spoke to soon....!

2009-02-25T23:00:00.000-08:00

Down there in my other post it says I'll be missing out on a Coldplay concert. Well, plans have changed; the jig is up. Clark county, here I come.

Friday the 13th musings.

2009-02-13T14:19:00.000-08:00

Things that are exciting me:
-Griffey Talk
-Spring break drawing nearer (hotel in Newport Beach officially BOOKED!)
-Travis Concert in april!
-Sophomore Retreat next weekend
- Longer days and warmer weather
-Registering for more Public Health classes
-Summer plans solidifying (though it saddens me I may be missing these guys at the Gorge in July)

Things on my mind:
- Celebrating tomorrow's festivities
- Jesus as provider
- LOST theories
- Summer
- Where I want to live next year
- These crazy Australian fires
- Want to get a bike

Currently enjoying:
- Cinnamon Raisin Bagels
- Coldplay EP and Into the Wild soundtrack
- Gaswork runs and Greenlake strolls
- Kitsu! Becky's puppy over at the UMin trailer

Forget New York....

2009-01-27T20:24:00.000-08:00

I'm going to the Golden State for spring break!

More to come as my 4 companions and I continue planning our road trip...
Suggestions welcome!

2008, it was truly a pleasure.

2009-01-01T23:39:00.000-08:00

5 favorite movies*:
-Iron Man
-No Country For Old Men
-Dark Knight
-Wall-e
-Benjamin Button

*that I saw this year, not necessarily when released

5 favorite movie experiences:
-The Happening
-Kung Fu Panda
-Burn After Reading
-HSM 3
-Forgetting Sarah Marshall

5 Favorite Artists/Albums:
-Coldplay "Viva la Vida"
-Travis
-Fleet Foxes
-Vampire Weekend
- Brandi Carlile

Favorite Moments of 08: SO MANY!
- Jan 1: New Years Sleepover with UCUers, proceeded by an adventure with Kailey to find the highest point in Seattle to view the mountains (most beautiful day of 08, in my opinion)
-UCU dances
-March 19: Insomnia before chem final. Not because I was studying, but because I couldn't for the life of me fall asleep. I went from bed to bed, to couch. It proved to be a very interesting night, concluding with a sunrise breakfast from the UCU roof. I learned alot about myself that night.
-Ferry boat ride back from Bainbridge at night
-Braveheart night/ any time we tried to infiltrate the guy's secret meetings
-Domincan Republic 2008: The people, the memories, the friendships.
-Yelling around UCU
-Laying out in the UCU lawn in spring quarter
-Beach Bash in Eastern Wa
- Scary movies at UCU
-Seeing too much of a female neighbor in the apartment complex
-Anytime that I fell down laughing
-Getting into Lost
-Working for the first time in my life
- July 3rd: I was awoken by loud clapping outside our house. I went onto the roof just at dawn, and braved the winds and rain and watched as the lighting struck less than a mile away. Thrilling! Also went to camp/ Langley fireworks show.
-Meeting myspace friends Alex and Becky from New Zealand for the first time
-Star gazing late into the night
-Bus rides to camp (surprisingly peaceful)
- Bainbridge camp out
-Coffee/ Movie dates with E. Hanson
-Life conversations in the bathroom
-Frisbee golf with the guys around campus at midnight
-Nearly all 80 days of summer
-Snowball fights
-Loud and crazy freshman groups

If 07's theme was "Expect the Unexpected", 08 was "A Glorious Return". By that I mean I felt like I came back to God- saw his beauty more and depended on him, through daily prayer and reading. I started to take a good look at myself and what my aim and mission in life ought to be. I saw him in my friends and family more, and (with his help) practiced leaning on him more, instead of taking things into my own hands. He is slowly chipping away at this hardened heart of mine.

Things I learned:
-Making friends is FUN!/ initiate more
-Ignorance is bliss.
-Dance at least once a day. It's good for the soul.
-Don't discount yourself because you are young--be who you want to be, TODAY.
-Expect more out of people.
-Don't give up--work hard in the face of adversity.

Just to name a few.....
I have quite a number of resolutions too.

Overall, a great year. Can't wait to see what 09 brings!

Lux Venit: Shine, for your light has come.

2008-12-25T21:57:00.000-08:00

"Out of sheer generosity God put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ." Romans 3:24 (the Message).

Merry Christmas to all.

Oh how the time flies!

2008-12-22T23:18:00.001-08:00

I can't believe I've been on break for almost 2 weeks already!
Finals went swimmingly (surprisingly) and I am so thankful for this time off from school.

Fun things I've done so far:

-Went on a Christmas Argosy cruise with some fellow Freshman group leaders. Not only did we get to go for free, but we became entertainment for the whole boat with a full 45-minute set of dancing on the observation deck as we traveled the sound. Any music the crew threw on the speakers, we ate it up. A perfect night with great friends!
-I stayed at UCU for a few days after finals. The few of us who were left enjoyed a night full of Red Mill, games, and snow ball fights on the quad.
-LOTR marathon with newbie Kailey!
-Wall-e (in HD!) and thrift store shopping
- Re-uniting with old friends from my Hale days
- Great conversations late into the night with my favorite girls
- Christmas shopping
-Sliding down the icy streets of Lake City using cardboard, turkey pans and linoleum
-Early Christmas with family + their significant others
-A long day of sledding, falling, and silliness

While the snow may mean being stuck inside all day for some, it's pushed me to use the bus more. I've really enjoyed bringing my backpack place to place like a lone traveler, not knowing where I'll sleep that night.

Still on my list of things to do:
-Read a book or two on my goodreads list
-Get my hands on some new cds (currently wanting Girl Talk, Kings of Leon, Fleet Foxes, MGMT, Ratatat, new(er) DeVotchka and Sigur Ros).
-Catch up with friends I haven't seen in a while
-Research Public Health a bit more
-Love on others as much as possible.

The Generation gap closes.

2008-12-05T11:38:00.000-08:00

So on Thanksgiving I was giggling by the computer, watching the Youtube clip of the Thanksgiving parade Rick-Roll. My mom asked me why I thought it was so funny. Shocked, I said "Because its Rick Astley Mom! Its one of the best songs ever" and tried to explain the concept of Rickrolling. She still couldn't understand why I liked the song, and I eventually just walked away shaking my head.

Then I got this email today....

"Emily, I couldn't believe my ears when in my aerobics class this morning, I heard the song "never gonna give you up..." came on the soundtrack- I thought of you.

To warm up for your finals,

here is a multiple choice questionaire for you:

Rick Astley would never:

a) give you up

b) let you down

c) run around and desert you

d) make you cry

e) say goodbye

f) tell a lie and hurt you

g) all of the above

Love ya Mom.

HEY!.....wait a minute....

2008-11-30T21:36:00.000-08:00

Do you ever find songs in your itunes which are clearly mislabeled?

I kept finding errors as I was editing through my library today (since I recently acquired a crapload of music from Jamie). Now a days, if there's a song that I don't know the name or artist, I look it up by google-ing the lyrics. But of course alot of my music came from my home computer before I went to college, and I guess back in early 00's we (or I) used to just guess who the artist was.

Recent findings:

Classical Gas-- Simon and Garfunkel

Bittersweet Symphony-- Coldplay (though in my/our defense, they did perform that song at Live 8, and its a live version)

I Can See Clearly Now-- Billy Joel

Gave me a chuckle.

Only two weeks until...

2008-11-13T12:11:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving!

Other things to look forward to:

Sophomore Sleepover tonight!

(This was a picture taken from Freshman Group almost exactly a year ago)
I havent been able to go to Sophomore Group all year, so I'm pretty pumped.

Pixie Week!

Which, besides all the secret santa and girly activities, means I'll be getting up at 6am monday morning to take the Christmas decorations that have been sitting in the guys basement all month and decorate our house. Oh well.

Doesnt look as good as when we first surprised the guys, but you get the idea. Thanks to Tage for posing.

Maureen coming home less than three weeks!

And only 2 1/2 more weeks of class! I'm in dire need of a break.

I've been tagged.

2008-11-06T14:31:00.000-08:00

4 Things I was doing ten years ago....

1) I was a 4th grader at Broadview Thompson Elementry, enjoying art, math, and pinning after one William Gable who sat in front of me.
2) My family continued going to Hope Bible Fellowship, where I was a master of the overhead.
3) I had just started playing flute. My best friend Sabina and I only did it so we could skip out on computer class (and in hopes of going on the infamous band trips I watched my brother enjoy in middle school). I never practiced, and when the teacher told the class to do scales, I'd just push down buttons without blowing. Brilliant.
4) I wore my first pair of jeans to school. Levis, baby. I ended up liking them so much, I slept in them.

4 Things on my To-Do List today…

1) Prepare for my spanish oral exam on Brazil
2) Make a map for the freshman retreat tomorrow
3) Go to freshman group/ watch the Office
4) Connect with Josh M and Mindy so we can FINALLY watch the Grinch.

4 Jobs I have had…

1) The Waterfront Activites Center (where I am at this moment)
2) That is all. Unless you count volunteering at the hospital (i.e. Hell on earth) and TCL.

4 Movies I have watched more than once

1) Ace Ventura
2) The Princess Bride
3) LOTR (though its always a large undertaking)
4) Mr and Mrs Smith
And many more.

Top 4 Favorite Albums of All Time

(starting from earliest to most recent)
1) Michael W Smith- The Decade (1980-1990)
2) Michael Jackson Greatest Hits
3) John Mayer- Room for Squares
4) In recent times: 3 way tie between Coldplay- Viva la Vida, Sufjan Christmas, and Travis- Singles

4 Places I have lived…..

1) Lake City, Seattle
2) U district, Seattle
3) Lakeside Bible Camp, for weeks at a time
4)

4 Places I have been…

1) Dominican Republic
2) Nathan Hale roof
3) 11 states- and I dont mean just driving through or flight connections, but staying for at least 2 days.
4) Disneyland. Twice.

4 Places I want to visit….

1) Greece
2) Rio de Janiero
3) Austria (Capernwray)
4) New Zealand
5) New York Cit...oh wait! IM GOING THERE!

4 TV show I watch….

1) Office. Ehhh.
2) Amazing race, when I have the time
3) Seinfeld Reruns at 10pm
4) Arrested Development on Hulu

4 Things you may not know about me…..

1) In 3rd grade my best friend and I decided to mime everything that my teacher Mr Langston did. So we followed him to the teachers lounge, sat there silently pretending to eat lunch like him, and when class started again we sat in the front with him and pretended like we were lecturing while he read about armadillos. So bizarre. And that isnt even that crazy of a story as far as my 3rd grade year goes.
2) I used to bring wax paper to school to make the slide on the playground THAT much better.
3) I could spend hours in a car hanging out with my friends, as long as there is laughter. That was my summer of 06, right there.
4) To entertain myself, I often ponder what people will look like in 25 years.

My friends...

2008-11-04T11:46:00.000-08:00

Emily VanOss does not vote and tell.

Obama

.

heh

Check out this picture taken by one of the guys in our house last night. The group of about 1,000 students paraded down greek row, to red square, and ended the night on Capitol Hill. I've never seen this town so excited, or patriotic.

As the chill sets in..

2008-10-28T16:01:00.001-07:00

Currently Listening to:

All things Motown

Oh Michael, you were so great even at 14.

The UCU Harvest/Halloween/Oktoberfest this past weekend was a blast. The house looked great, the guest were great (we had more people on the dance floor than any previous UCU party I've been to I think). I wish I had pictures to show but I never really left our mosh pit.

Well, here's one.

IN-CRE-AB-LE!

2008-10-20T23:55:00.000-07:00

In learning about swing music, my professor showed an example of the "Lindy Hop", a style of dancing big in the 30's. Watch the whole thing, its insane. I can't comprehend how they do it all.

I don't think I can wait 5 more days, I am so ready to get my groove on this weekend!

TGIF

2008-10-10T15:54:00.000-07:00

Just watched:

...Legends of the Fall with E last night. We both agree it is one of our all time favorites. Its definitely not for everyone though, considering how it spirals into a complete mess by the end. But soo good just the same. Lots of guys seem to like it also, so its fairly gender friendly...John Eldredge mentions it briefly in his book Wild at Heart.

Also makes me want to have a family of all boys....sortof.

Next up:

I've been waiting for it to come to the Crest all summer....huzzah!

Oh bother.

2008-10-06T11:51:00.000-07:00

I feel like I wasn't awake or conscious this past week. I have a much busier schedule this quarter than ever with the INN, my job, and being social chair....but I found myself with more time on my hands. The math didn't add up. I was honestly wandering around UCU bored out of my mind, looking for things to do. Then last night I realized why--I hadn't been studying nearly as much as I should've. So now, its cram time! I'm making myself stay in the library this afternoon.

In other news, my sun-kissed glow from last season is slowly but surely fading away. My "Summer of Sun" as i called it (I chose to wear less sunscreen to coincide with my summer job at the WAC) is officially over. It was fun while it lasted. Though my skin doctor probably won't be pleased about my little escapade.

life imitating art

2008-10-03T13:09:00.000-07:00

Caught, in an endless time
Waiting for a sign
To show you where to go
Lost, in a silent stare
Looking anywhere
For answers you dont know

On the wire
Balancing your dreams
Hoping ends will meet their means
You feel alone
Uninspired
Well does it help you to
Know that I believe in you
Youre an angel waiting for wings...emily

You, going through this stage
Its a restless age
Young and insecure
Sill, there are doubts to fade
Moments to be made
And one of them is yours

I loved this Michael W Smith song when I was young, mostly because it was entitled after my name. Only recently have I realized how well it describes this point in my life.

Under African Skies

2008-10-02T14:11:00.000-07:00

Pray for my sister Maureen as she is arriving in Tanzania this afternoon. She will be there for the next two months volunteering through hostels, working with the youth and women, as well as exploring the culture. I miss her already.

Good stuff.

2008-09-29T13:13:00.000-07:00

If only this song weren't so short.

At our first girls night, one of the questions we asked was if we could see any concert in any location, what would it be... For me it was a tie between Coldplay in Ireland and Muse in Rio de Janiero.

Sigh....someday soon.

Fall is in full swing

2008-09-26T18:51:00.000-07:00

Classes have begun, UCU is a bustling animal house again, and the days are packed with meetings, small group, freshman group, and Office parties. I'm already tired (I fell asleep in my American Popular Song* class yesterday) and I have yet to hit the books, but otherwise....my sophomore year at UW is going stupendously.

*My professor played this as we took our seats the first day, and I knew.... this was going to be a great class.

A concept I just can't get out of my head.

2008-09-21T12:44:00.001-07:00

This past week at a INN Student Leadership retreat, the first task we had was to take 45 minutes and write out our story. I've shared my testimony a handful of times, but something about the idea of writing a story, a narrative, gave it a whole new spin. I noticed that testimonies, at least in the Christian communities i've been a part of, tend to focus just on your relationship with Christ, and leave out the people and events that shape your day-to-day life and have made you the person and hopefully disciple you are today. It needs to include everything, even the things that may seem separate from God. Because he toiled and planned out your story--a perfect, exciting, intricate, thrilling narrative-- long before we were made. And really, everything in your life points back to him.

I realized on the car ride home from the retreat that I have so many close friends who I have never heard their stories. Sure, I may have been around for certain chunks in their life, but very rarely have I heard their perspective of their life as a whole, and what stands out to them as important.

So I encourage you to start writing your story. After a while you'll see patterns and themes that reflect Christ's intricate hand and planning. It seems vital to do, not just for yourself, but so you can share wisdom and lessons with each other.

How I'd love to share a cup of coffee with you in front of a warm fire and hear yours sometime.

P.S. I essentially just got paid for 4 hours of watching Lost and blogging. This is the life.

"So long sweet summer...

2008-09-15T10:13:00.000-07:00

...I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays"

Well the season is coming to a close, and a good one it has been. This was my first summer working, and I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed it. I love walking down to the WAC in the mornings, being able to stare out the window to the Cascades, and working with people my age. Plus I've really enjoyed being able to interact with so many customers from around the area. Already I've noticed how much more comfortable I am talking with people I don't know. All in all, it has been a great experience for me, and am so glad God has put me here.

Part of the reason why I didn't do staff this year (besides working at the WAC) was so I could spend time with my best buddy in the whole world, Kailey Adele Wolf. We didn't get to spend as much time together as I would've hoped, due to our working schedules, but what a blessing it was to have her around. We got a fair of things done from our Ultimate Summer to-do list, including BTP (goodwill outlet to the common folk), Bellevue Square run, Camano, Tubs subs, biking the burke Gilman....as the years go on I get more and more excited about getting to know this girl.

Oh, and Vancouver 08 was ridiculously fun (minus the milk on Harry's mac fiasco and loosing his keys on the street of couver at 2am). Goooood memories.

Though I wasn't able to cabin lead at Lakeside this summer, I still managed to spend some quality time with my dear camp friends. Whats great about it is that the older I get, the more they become not just camp friends, but friends that play an important role in my daily life. And that is a beautiful thing.

I also enjoyed spending more time at UCU, and getting to know some of the guys better. During the school year it never seems like there's enough time to hang out over there, but summer allowed for alot more shinanigans. Which is always a good thing.

One thing I re-discovered this summer was how much I enjoy making new friends. I guess I had forgotten how much fun it is.

Some of my other goals this summer were to do more reading. I started reading the Twilight series, but stopped after book one. I think what bothered me the most was Bella. I didn't like her meek personality, how she saw Edward as a god, her whininess, and how overly dramatic she was about everything. I heard it was like crack for teenage girls. I suppose that is true if you're aching for some romance in your life and like to envision yourself being caressed by a beautiful guy in a grassy meadow....but I wasn't into it.
However, I did read some excellent Christian literature: Velvet Elvis, Sex God, and Searching for God Knows What. Furthermore, I was able to read nearly all of Paul's letters. I realized I've never really written in my bible, so my focus was to just pick it apart and underline whatever I felt was calling out to me. Why hadn't I done this earlier?? I couldn't tell ya. It has been really beneficial to me.

Besides working, hanging out with friends and family, and reading I've managed to conquer my other goal....watch all three seasons of LOST!!

I am hooked. I had only seen a few episodes of season 1 and season 4, so I decided it was time to start finding out what all the hullabaloo was about. As long as I can finish season 4 by the end of this year, I should be all ready to go for the season premiere in January.

It's been a great summer, and I can't wait for this new school year to begin!

Tied to the 90's*

2008-09-13T13:59:00.000-07:00

I've been on this 90's movie kick recently. After compiling a list, I reserved tons of VHS's from the library, and they just keep rolling in. Here's what I've watched so far.

Last of the Mohicans

Kailey and I actually only watched about 50 minutes of it. Frankly, I didn't like it. The war element wasn't that intriguing, and neither was the love story. We got so impatient that we turned it off and watched Jeopardy instead.

Meet Joe Black

Okay, so I didn't get this from the library, I own it. It's a strange concept for a story (I don't think Julie saw it coming), and Brad Pitt's character is a little off the whole time. But I'm a sucker for it. The thrill of finding out Erin shared the same love for this movie! We had to watch it together right away. 3 hours, but a good, abnormal chick flick to say the least.

Fargo

Excellent movie. I wanted to watch it before I saw Burn After Reading. It didn't disappoint. Thrilling, suspenseful, funny.....especially Frances McDormand.

Shakespeare in Love

Very cute movie. Not terribly romantic if you ask me (I felt like both Gwenyth Paltrows and Jospeh Finnes's characters were a bit overdone, since right away they were obsessed with eachother), but still a fun movie. I just love Gwenyth Paltrow in general, and Ben Affleck brings comedy relief.

Thelma and Louise

It was better than I was expecting. It kinda dragged on for a bit at the end, but the characters were great. I think I was most impressed by the opening theme song by Hans Zimmer.....classic 90's.

Still waiting to be watched- Ed Wood, Goodfellas, Pulp Fiction, Dances with Wolves, and perhaps American Beauty (though I hear its fairly depressing). Plus I think Erin, Julie, and I will watch Titanic soon. Hooray for summer and having hours upon hours to catch up on the movies I was too young to watch as a child!

*Reference to song title by Travis, which is fast becoming a favorite.

Red, White, & the View

2008-09-12T18:06:00.001-07:00

McCain was on the View this morning, and thanks to youtube you can see it all (because who has the patience to sift through their petty arguing and shouting in the morning otherwise?)

I remember liking McCain in previous years, because it seemed like he knew that the right thing to do is not always the clear-cut stance decided by one's political party. It seemed like he saw the value of taking each issue one at a time, and then deciding if he should lean left or right. But Joy Behar has a point-- McCain appears to be conforming to what the Republicans want him to be. I'd like to think he'll make better choices than Bush if elected, but right now... they look too similar.

I don't like to dwell on politics all that much, so while we're on the subject...this gave me a good chuckle a few days ago.

Someone at Apple deserves a raise.

2008-09-11T18:32:00.000-07:00

I love love the new itunes genius bar.

Sure, its similar to Pandora, except that all the songs are from your library. Which is perfect for someone like me, who has dozens of full albums on my itunes that I got from others, but never got around to taking the time to listen to them all the way through to see if I like their sound. Well Voilà! Each new song that I click on reveals a new side of my music library that I never knew about.

Innovation is great.

P.S. I think I'm going to ask for one of these bad boys for Christmas.

Ya know what I love?

2008-09-10T00:10:00.000-07:00

Strangers.
I don't know what it is, but I get excited, nay giddy, by the smallest interactions I have with a complete stranger. A shared smile over that loon in the theater. A nod of approval. The feeling of knowing you and this person you've never met (and never will see again) are thinking the EXACT same thing. It honestly has the ability to make my day.

One time my sister and I were in Target, and this pack of youths were walking ahead of us, talking really loudly and just being absolute goobers. I'm thinking "Who are these dweebs?" and behind me I hear this emo guy with his girlfriend start mocking them with a dead-on impression. Too loudly, obviously, since I turned around and laughed hysterically. But as I scurried away with my shopping cart, still laughing my head off, I said to myself "Ya know, that was the funniest thing I saw all day, and I probably made this guy's day too, since he looked pretty witty infront of his girlfriend, being able to get a complete stranger to laugh".

So start pushing those social boundaries. Make comments out loud. Clap obnoxiously at the movie theater. Make those faces that let a fellow customer know exactly what your thinking. You never know whose funny bone you'll hit juuust right.

To share a laugh with a stranger-- in the words of Martha Stewart, its a good thing.

Before we commence...

2007-08-16T13:42:00.000-07:00

We all know sexual promiscuity is an issue in our culture. But people rarely discuss the epidemic that is just as damaging to the psyche of young people today: emotional promiscuity. Recently I have noticed how people my age, especially girls, desire so much to be loved and be known that they spill their hopes, dreams, intimate thoughts into anyone that will listen (myspace, anyone?). Most of the time, the listener will be of the opposite sex, but lacks the maturity or capacity to really cherish it yet, or they just are overwhelmed. In the end, the person who gave so much will feel like they’ve lost a bit of themselves. This is especially hard to see in other Christian girls, who when they first have a relationship with a boy do not cross the line physically but gush about things so personal that they damage themselves by putting so much weight onto the other person. Their expectations to find comfort in another person may not happen, and afterwards they feel foolish.

The reason I am addressing this in my first post is that I want to refrain from being emotionally promiscuous on my blog- from looking at others, it seems like its an easy pattern to fall into. Its true that sometimes I just want to scream to the world how I’m feeling- we all do at times, its human nature. But I do not plan on doing that here. Yes, I want my blog to prompt thinking and perhaps reflection (I’d like to think I have good things to say). Yes, I may show the cool day-to-day things that have been going on in my life (don’t worry, its not going to be ALL deep talk). Yes, I want people to get a better idea of who I am as a person and lover of God. But do not expect this to be a diary of my life story, or my daily struggles. That is reserved for God, close friends and family, and my future someone.
Well readers, I'm glad we got that settled. Now, onto the fun!